Flickering Shadows

Betrayal (Chapter 16)

BETRAYAL

I was banned from all group activities and the rec room for three weeks for injuring Amanda.  Dylan was as well, but only for a week because he wasn't throwing shards of glass around.  Amanda didn't lose any privileges because her injury was enough punishment. It was a flesh wound! It didn't even need stitches!

           What was I to do for the next few weeks?  Dylan had mysteriously disappeared, and I was lost as to what to do for the rest of the day.  I had not spent a day without him since we had that fight.  He was a big part of my life.

           Thankfully, Dylan thought Amanda was just spewing crap when she told him that I had a thing for him.  I was happy that he thought so, kind of.  If our friendship had been ruined by my obsessive crush I would never forgive her.  But, what if he revealed that he harbored the same feelings for me?  Doubtful, but it could have happened.  If I could make my love for him magically disappear, I would.  Things would be so much less complicated with him.  But, God, I loved him; even if our situation would never change, I would always be waiting, hopeful.

           I decided to try on my dress to pass the time.  I wondered how it would look.  Not nearly as good as on the mannequin, of course, but I hoped for some similarities.  I lifted the dress out of the box and slid into it.  I realized it was not only beautiful, but remarkably comfortable.  The inside was silky and smooth.  The sash was tied just tight enough that it gave me a slight hourglass figure, which was more than I ever had.  I was like a board-straight and flat.  The dress somehow made me gain the curves I had always desired. I looked astonishing.

           I stood there, admiring my reflection for a long time before I remembered I had matching shoes.  I danced over to grab them.  Putting them on was easy, walking in them, however, was a whole other ball game.  I wobbled in the four inch heels.  I tried to take my first step and ended up falling.  This was going to take some practice.

It was midnight and I was restless.  Where the hell was Dylan?  How dare he just vanish without the tiniest bit of warning?  I decided to go up to the roof to see if he was there.  If not, I would come back to my room and pretend to sleep.

           I tiptoed up to the roof.  I heard voices-two voices, that scared me.  One of them was Dylan's, well, at least he wasn't dead.  The other was high pitched and annoying.  I had a bad feeling about it all.

           I considered turning around and pretending that I heard nothing.  I shouldn't be creeping on his business.  But there was a curiosity burning inside me that led me to walk up onto the roof.  I then saw Dylan and Amanda.  Their backs were turned, so they didn't realize I was there, watching. Though I wish they had, because at that precise moment, Dylan pulled Amanda's lips to his.

           A horrible pain set fire in my chest.  It felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach.  I felt tears stinging my eyes, but I held them back. Is this what heartbreak felt like? It felt like every other part of me was falling into pieces too. I could not wrap my head around what I was seeing. This couldn't be happening; Dylan promised me that he had no interest in her.

           Then my presence was noted.  "Lucy," slurred Dylan.  "Wha' chu doin' up here?"

           "I...um...nothing.  I wanted to get some air."

           Amanda should have been screaming, but then I saw that she was already passed out drunk in her-it was mine, technically-chair.  That took care of her.  Dylan staggered over to me. "Lucy," he breathed once he was in front of me.  His breath reeked of alcohol.  "Beautiful, Lucy," one of his hands reached up to stroke my cheek, and the other was secured around my waist.

           "Um," I stuttered, lost for words.  Before I could protest his lips pressed against mine-my first kiss.  It was rough-it was hard and there was too much tension, like he'd been holding it back for too long.  I never imagined my first kiss to be on a roof of a mental hospital with a drunken guy, and a passed out chick only feet away. But in a strange way, it was perfect.  

           After a while, I pulled away; it took effort pulling out if his strong grip.  "We should go," I gasped.

           "'Kay." Dylan sighed.  He threw Amanda over his shoulder and stumbled down the stairs.  Both of us made it down safely, and without falling and dying. He dropped Amanda off in her bed, and then stumbled off to his own. "Love ya, Lucy."

           By the time I decoded his words, he was long gone.  "Love you too, Dylan."  I whispered into the darkness.  I layed down in bed, and my head was still spinning and my lips still tingling.

Amanda slept all day the next day, so she wasn't a bother.  I don't think she would have even remembered what happened anyway.  Dylan woke around noon and knocked on my door.  He looked awful.  His hair was askew and he was white as chalk, and his skin had the same consistency.  "God, you look terrible!" I exclaimed when I saw him.

           "I feel terrible." He moaned.

           "Let's go get some food-you'll feel better."   I towed him along to the cafeteria.

           "I drank so much last night." He said between small bites of toast.  "I have a God-awful hangover."

           "That sucks." I nodded.

           "Yeah," he agreed.  "What happened last night? I don't remember anything."

           "You don't?" I said, disappointed.  Dylan didn't remember the kiss with Amanda, but, more importantly, he didn't remember the kiss with me. 

           "Nope, nothing." Dylan frowned.

           "You were on the roof with Amanda." I said solemnly.

           "And..."

           I sighed, "You kissed her-a lot." I mumbled, looking down at my plate of untouched eggs.  "And then you-you kissed me."

          "Bloody hell, I was really out of it wasn't I?"  He laughed.  I laughed along with him, although I found no humor in the situation. I started to feel the pain in my chest again. I felt...useless. I could not say I was taken advantage of, because the advances were clearly wanted, but still, he only kissed me because he wanted someone to kiss and I was the only conscious girl there. I was not going to lie, it hurt. "Really though, I kissed her?" I nodded.  Dylan pretended to gag. "Gross. I hope the psychotic bitch doesn't come after me then."

           "I doubt she remembers anything.  She was pretty smashed.  You had to carry her down the stairs because she was passed out."  I told him.

           "Good, because that's the last night I need-her stalking me because she thinks we're together."

           I wondered if he thought that about me.  I wondered if the kiss meant anything to him, or if it was an act of pure drunkenness.  I wanted to ask him how he felt about it now, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.  I wished he hadn't been drunk, because now, things could have been perfect.