My one and only Love

Chapter 12

Maya laid beside Josh in his bed, she was quiet, and staring around the room as her thoughts ran through her mind like a fog of black smoke tainting everything good inside. She kept replaying a conversation in as many ways as it could go, how many ways her asking him about his not telling Cory and Topanga about them could go. How he could get mad, how he could be upset at her for questioning him. They were clearly okay together considering what had just happened to leave them both naked under the sheets, but she couldn’t get the questions out of her mind.

Josh looked over at her curiously, reaching to push her hair back. “Hey…you okay?”

“Hmm? Yeah I’m good, great.”

Josh had a choice in that moment, accept her words and let himself believe all was fine or question her further and possibly ruin a great afternoon with a fight if she didn’t want him to butt in. But something about her being so docile felt off to him, he liked that she was a spitfire, that she was opinionated and spoke her mind and didn’t want that to change. “Maya. Seriously, what’s up?” He sat up some, the sheet still covering his lower half and watched her as she sat up as well.

“Um, well…” She swallowed, not feeling like herself, but not wanting to risk losing him either. “Why didn’t you tell them?”

“Tell who what?” He asked a genuine confused expression his face.

“About us, Cory and Topanga.”

“Oh.” His face fell a little. He hadn’t thought about it at the time, it just didn’t feel right to tell anyone where he’d been. “I don’t know, just…didn’t.” Maya just nodded, not responding, but her eyes looked dull as she glanced towards the window. “Maya, I didn’t tell them because I don’t want them to know, I just…” His brow furrowed. “I love you, Maya, why does it matter who knows.”

She put a smile on her face as she faced him. “I love you too.” She nodded, shifting on the bed to reach for her clothes. As she started to get dressed, Josh pulled on his boxers, feeling that something was off between them. Sitting on the side of the bed and pulling on her shoes Maya finally spoke up. She turned to look at him. “Are you embarrassed to be with me?” She asked bluntly. And while Josh got to see her come out of her shell, he didn’t like the way she was looking at him.

“How could you ask me that?!” He shot back, sitting up more and looking at her with furrowed brows. “I just sat here and told you I loved you and you think I’m embarrassed?”

“Why wouldn’t you tell them you were there? Why did you sit there acting like you’d just come because I called. It made me feel stupid sitting there thinking of some reason I didn’t call her.”

“Have you really been holding this in for a week? Why didn’t you say something to them? You weren’t speaking up either.” And that part she hadn’t expected.

“I- I didn’t say anything because you didn’t!” She snapped back. “You told them you knew a guy with a car and didn’t mind. You didn’t tell them you were on your way back.”

“Do you really want them to know what happened that weekend? Do you want me to sit there and tell my brother and the whole damn family I lost my virginity with their daughter’s best friend in the woods? What did you want me to say Maya?!” He didn’t raise his voice often so it took Maya by surprise, but so did what he said.

“You…you hadn’t ever…?” She looked at him shocked, it had all been so perfect to her, he seemed to know what he was doing, had so much confidence.

Josh’s face went red when he realized that she’d had no idea he was a virgin, they hadn’t mentioned it before, just talked about waiting. “No.” He told her, voice much softer now. “You’re my first.” And as he watched her face change he looked embarrassed. “Stop grinning at me like that!”

“I’m sorry! I can’t help it, I didn’t know, it’s kind of…nice though, I mean…that we both lost it together.” She didn’t even care if it sounded weird to say out loud, she just smiled at him. “I’m glad it was you.” She told him after a moment’s silence.

The tension around them seemed to have faded and he scooted a little closer to her. “I’m glad it was you too.” He told her in return, smiling a little, though his cheeks and ears were still quite red. The way they moved together was fluid, lips finding one another in sweet almost apologetic kisses.

After long kisses, Josh pulled back. “Do you really want me to tell them?” He asked softly.

“Well not about what we did.” She scoffed, nearly laughing. “Never about what we did. But…I don’t like lying to them, they’re my family too you know?” She told him, shrugging a little but he understood.

“Well…how about…” he paused, kissing her neck a few times. “I just come to pick you up for a proper date, it’s about time I took you on one.”