Fight With Fire

2

By the time I get back to my room I can't feel my legs. My legs have become heavier and heavier and the constant stairs to get up to my room aren't helping. I collapse onto my bed looking out the window. I feel an urge to jump out the window and fly far far away and be free from the burdens holding me here. I close the blind before I can day dream too much.

I continue to appreciate having no roommate. I guess that's what happens when everyone's scared of you.

I sit in front of my desk pulling everything I need out of the drawers. I first open my writing kit to take out a small jar of black ink. I then pull out one of the syringes from my stash. The nurse has been noticing them going missing so I need to get more than one use out of each one even though that is very unsanitary. I then pull out the small rag covered with ink and blood stains. After filling the syringe with black ink, I shove the whole rag in my mouth making it hard to breath.

I focus just on my breathing then I push the syringe into my cheek. I start by placing it on the edge of where my fake iae has started to fade. Tears immediately start rolling down my cheek but I can't scream. I can't scream. I push some ink into my skin then pull the syringe out trying to take deep breaths. I move the syringe over a few millimetres then push it into my skin again feeling my eyes burn. I continue until the left side of my face has gone numb. I continue until the rag is drenched with blood and ink and saliva. I continue until all the light leaves the room. I continue until there is no ink left. I continue until there is perfect black circle on my cheek.

My iae wasn't always fake. I had been the most popular girl at school starting when I first arrived at the school because my iae was the most visible and the biggest taking up my whole left cheek. Even at such a young age everyone knew what that meant. That's why everyone assumed my iae would start to fade and I would develop my Aerdell. Very few Oaris become anything important and therefore don't have the biggest or most visible iae. At the younger ages no one had even begun to garnish so it didn't matter if you were an Oari or a Tefra. There was no way to tell the difference. When people's iaes start to fade their iae shrinks showing that they haven't learned how to use their Aerdell. At that time the Oaris are the most popular but it never lasted long.

I was different from all the other Oaris. While they basked in their temporary power I watched. When someone started to garnish, I paid attention to them. Watching how they grew into their powers and if they had obvious Drells. This let me get to them, make them trust me, and make them stay beneath me. I got to the twins first. James felt no physical pain but was very emotionally unstable and Josh was very strong but not the brightest. Both very intimidating but very easy to get under control. They were my body guards from the start. This put me ahead of the Oaris from the beginning and when the Tefras learned to use their Aerdells I stayed above them. Where I am now, and keeping me there, has been thanks to observation and manipulation. Most hated being Oaris but I thrived. Having no power meant I had no weakness.

That was all going to change if I started garnishing. I noticed two dots fading from the rest my iae way after most Tefras were fully garnished. No other Oaris were in a power position like me. I could have worked with an Aerdell and made myself stronger. Worked harder and never showed weakness, even as I was garnishing and I would've been fine.

That was until I realized that I was going to be a Phiar. With mostly stupid and unhelpful Aerdells, there is nothing worse than being a Phiar. I had watched everyone else's iaes start to fade and none of them had started with two random dots in no particular pattern. The way my iae was fading, I was going to be a Phiar and I had no idea what my Aerdell was. I was better off staying as an Oari.

I had started drawing the ink over top of the iae as an instinct. But once I started I couldn't stop. I started with just drawing but I knew that it washed off too easily. I tried carving the ink deeper and deeper ink to my skin when I realized I could I inject it below my skin. As painful as it was, it was the only way people wouldn't know.