Fight With Fire

38

There's something about hiding that makes people feel safe. There's something about fighting that makes people feel strong. There's something about learning that makes people feel smart. There's something about helping that makes people feel warm. And there's something about betrayal that makes someone feel more alone then they've ever felt before.

There are only a few moments that have made me feel this way before. One of them being when I felt betrayed by my own blood when my iae started to fade. I felt betrayed by Charlie when he showed me the world and then he left it and me behind. I've always felt betrayed by my friends because they never noticed I was struggling.

And I feel betrayed now.

The surveillance room hit me right in the heart. I subconsciously knew that there were cameras everywhere but I never really understood what that meant. Everything I say can be heard, everything I do can be seen, and everyone I love is living blissfully unaware of the eyes everywhere.

The screens flicker in front of me in the dark room. They switch from the perfect grid of tables in the cafeteria to the straight lines of desks in the classrooms to the symmetrical stairwells.

Carly showed me the room and explained some simple instruction on how everything works. I was numb as I watched her set the system to show the school. It is nearly deserted now with everyone gone on their trials.

I stop the screen at the only room that isn't empty. Ms. Fields stands in front of someone just out of the frame. Her lips are moving fast as she paces slightly. I fiddle with the switches and to find the sound button.

"-and I figured it out! You set this up. Somehow you knew every Aerdell and you knew his so I'm sure you could've figured out, maybe using him, what I wanted. So you indirectly did this!" Ms. Fields steps forward towards the man and I fumble to switch the angle so I can see who it is. "You want me. I know you do. So lets stop beating around the bush, eh?"

"Julia, stop. I knew what he could do but it was a coincidence. I never knew what you wanted or that he'd even give it to you. It was never part of testing for anyone to have to use their Aerdell." The man steps completely out of the frame so you can only see his two outstretched hands between him and Ms. Fields aka Julia.

I continue fiddling with the control board accidentally bringing up a control menu. Another switch speeds up the scene and slows it down. There's also a pause/play. One of the buttons finally switches the angle and I see Louis John trying to fend off Julia.

"Stop fighting this. You must feel it too." Julia takes another step forward causing Louis to take another step back.

"Clearly you did not have anything to discuss about the students' scores so I will just be on my way."

Louis moves to take a step around Julia and she intercepts him. There is a moment where their lips are locked before Louis pushes her aside and walks out of the room leaving both me and Julia confused.

After what Carly had told me, or more implied, I had a horrible impression of who Louis was. As much as I had admired him before, I so easily believed that he took advantage of Carly. I had sympathized with her situation and I understood her desperation to be placed after feeling useless.

Sitting back in my chair I am in awe. I still feel betrayed that not a single moment has been my own but I understand the true power I am given. I feel it would be worse to leave this and refuse to do anything than to sacrifice the already breached privacy of the people and actually learn something. From what I saw on the menu tab, it seems I can look at anything. Anywhere or anyplace in time. The only place that is safe from the watchful eye of the council are the bedrooms.