Fight With Fire

17

Every part of my body screamed in protest as I step out of my room. I pull my messy hair to one shoulder and start to braid it as I walk towards the stairwell. The sun is nowhere to be seen and the stars still blink in the sky. I am extremely tired and not just because of the nightmare. There is a lot to talk at the circle last night about with the rankings just coming out. My head is still full with arguments and discussions we had. I had informed everyone that there would be a new member to join us next week. Now that I had convinced the elites, I just had to convince Adrian to come with me.

I have one hand on the door when I hear the soft patter of footsteps behind me and a few sneezes. I quickly push myself into the shadows. Supervisors usually don't care when we're up early and have gone to bed anyway.

A smile spreads across my face as the shadow comes into view. When he reaches the door, I step out of the shadows a little bit.

"Wild night?" I can't help but smirk at Adrian as he jumps away in fright. Adrian's face flushes and I bend over in laughter.

"Ella?" Adrian whisper yells so he doesn't wake anyone up. "What the hell are you doing hiding in the shadows! And at a time like this!" My laughter subsides and I stand in front of him. I give him a sarcastic frown.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know I had a new neighbour." I snap my fingers and smile pretending to just realize something. "Did you officially move in with Gwen? I'm so happy for you! Oh wait," I frown and tap my chin, "No I'm not!" Then I burst out laughing again. Adrian just sighs and walks into the stairwell. I follow and fall into step beside him as we begin our descent. I reach behind me and continue to braid my hair.

"Do you really want to talk about my relationship with Gwen?" He is starting to turn serious but I just snort. "Didn't think so." I look up to see him staring forward. His muscles are tense showing his strong jaw line. I can only see part of those deep blue eyes from this angle. His brown hair falls in curls around his whole head.

"I don't know the specifics of your relationship with Gwen but you didn't seem disgusted by her when I saw you two together." I say thinking of the confession he made after testing and then him smiling at Gwen when I saw them together. I throw my finished braid over my shoulder and wait for him to answer. He doesn't look at me but continues staring forward, lost in thought.

"I shouldn't have- I don't know why-" He shakes his head and looks down but still doesn't look at me. "I told you those things because I needed someone to talk to. Gwen will never understand." I think about his words for a second.

"And you think I understand?" I watch as he lets out a slow breath stalling. He nods, then stops, then shakes his head.

"I think it's because of your desire." My eyes widen slightly in surprise. He follows my train of thought and continues. "I know you have figured out that I know your desire." He says this almost impatiently.

"It was when I pulled you through the window. That explains my behaviour. It has been a long time since someone's desire has confused me. Yours is more than confusing." He looks over to me for the first time. We hold eye contact until I almost trip down the stairs. Adrian holds me steady but when I look up he has his gaze forward again. "I have no idea what you want. But I have figured out a few things." He stops me and grabs my hands holding them in his. His eyes are burning into mine. Those deep blue eyes of his seem alight by fire.

"I can tell it has something to do with your iae. I can feel pain. Different types but all just as painful. But most of all I can feel the shame." He drops my hands and takes a small step towards me. "Those are two things that I can relate to. Everyone's greatest desires are greedy. But nothing makes someone more selfish than pain. That is one thing that I can understand." He turns away and continues down the stairs, his gaze forward. We walk in comfortable silence. Our steps fall into a steady beat echoing in the stairwell.

"You never answered my initial question." Adrian doesn't look over but I can assume he has a confused look on his face. But he doesn't say anything and just waits for me to continue. "You said you were disgusted by Gwen and yet you just spent all night with her."

"Again I wonder why I told you everything." He shakes his head. "Disgusted is a strong word. I can now feel her desire without touching her. It is so strong. I walk into a room and it's like BOOM! I just can't handle it sometimes." I take this in nodding my head but not really understanding.

"What is her desire?" Adrian lets out a bitter chuckle and shakes his head. "You know you're going to tell me eventually." Adrian is silent. I elbow him lightly in the side and he sighs in defeat.

"I have known her almost all my life. I helped her with her Aerdell and she helped me with mine. We struggled together but we never really made other friends so we spend a lot of time together." He runs a frustrated hand over his face.

"Just get to the point." I say impatiently.

We have walked pretty far and I want to get to Charlie. I really need something to calm me down after my nightmare and it is too early to have a conversation like this.

Adrian doesn't respond and has gone silent again. I make a frustrated noise and wait. Adrian takes a breath but doesn't say anything. I am about to encourage him again but he finally speaks drawing out every word. It seems an eternity before he's done speaking and it takes even longer for them to register.

"She wants me."