Tree Bros Oneshots • Dear Evan Hansen

Comfort

Ah, yes, let's start this off with some soft angst.

tw?// very brief suicide mention

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"...is this love at first sight or should I walk by again...?"

A half-asleep Evan reaches for his phone with a sigh, recognizing his boyfriend's ringtone. He sits up before answering it in a groggy voice.

"Connor?"

"Evan?"

Connor's voice is shaky and soft, nothing like what Evan is used to. He begins to worry. He's fully aware of how bad things can get for the brunet, and what kind of self-inflicted harm he's capable of.

"It's me, yeah. Are you okay, Con?"

There's a pause. Evan's question goes unanswered. "I know it's late but can you come over?"

Evan looks at the clock. Seven minutes past twelve. Getting out of the house won't be easy, but Connor's safety easily surpasses any type of punishment he'll receive if caught sneaking out.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Hurry."

A quiet beep signals the call has been ended, and Evan quickly throws on shoes as his boyfriend's last, one-word response circles in his anxious brain.

He bounces down the stairs as quickly and quietly as he can, breathing a sigh of relief when his mother isn't in the living room; meaning she's already gone to bed. However, knowing she'll panic if she realizes he's gone, he writes her a quick, sloppy note telling where he's going.

Getting outside is fortunately easier than first anticipated. And without wasting a second, Evan takes off on his bike toward the Murphy house.

---

Plant Boy 🌳💖: im outside

Connor stands on shaky legs, walking silently to the back door. Drawing in a deep breath, he opens it to reveal Evan on the other side.

"Connor." His name is spoken in one quick breath. He stumbles backward a step as the shorter boy attacks him in a bear hug, though he has to admit its calming to feel Evan's warmth.

"Can we go up to my room?," Connor whispers, shifting his gaze to the floor as Evan lets go of him.

Evan simply nods.

When they get upstairs, the younger takes his usual spot on Connor's bed. Connor himself falls into Evan's lap, and, finally feeling safe enough to do so, allows every bit of pent-up emotion to pour out.

The first time Evan saw Connor cry, he was surprised. Connor Murphy wasn't one to show much emotion, let alone cry in front of others. But he trusted Evan. He felt safe around him. And after that day, Evan vowed to never, ever make him feel any less.

"I'm worthless, Ev. No one cares about me, I might as well kill myself."

Though he's seen the boy cry and break down many times, and known of his suicidal thoughts since before they even began talking, this basic threat is a first, sending panic through Evan as he grips a sobbing Connor's hand. "Please don't do that. I care about you, and you're not worthless."

Connor sits up harshly, his voice laced with venom. "My own father called me worthless today."

"He's wrong," Evan assures, placing the palm of his hand on the brunet's cheek. "I promise."

Connor, all anger immediately dissolving at Evan's touch, squeezes his eyes shut again. He doesn't speak, instead pressing his face against the boy's hand. A stray tear finds its way to his chin.

"I've been really depressed lately," Connor says quietly as he lies back across Evan's lap. "Its been hard not to go back to the high."

Connor stopped smoking when he started dating Evan. He said he didn't mind being friends, but his dating someone who does drugs wouldn't sit well with his mother. So Connor swore to get clean for him, and checked himself into rehab just a few days afterward.

And, for the past eight months, he's done much better than anyone expected.

"I'm so sorry," Evan whispers, running one hand through Connor's long, chocolate locks and using the other to brush tears from one of his flushed cheeks.

They sit in a calm silence for a few lengthy moments. Connor is the one who breaks it.

"I love you, Evan."

The younger smiles, meeting Connor's tired blue eyes. "I love you." After a slight pause, he sighs. "Are you going to be okay, Con?"

Connor shrugs. "Can you stay with me? I need you."

Evan is silent, but nods, pulling the boy's hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles.

"Could we cuddle?," Connor asks in a soft, shy voice as he stands up to turn out the light. "I know its weak for me to be so needy, I'm sorry, but I really need to be held right now." Tears are starting to well in his eyes again.

Evan simply grabs his hand and pulls him into bed, wrapping his arms protectively around his boyfriend's thin body and pulling him as close as he can get. Connor's hair smells of pine needles. "Having emotions doesn't make you weak, Connor. You're allowed to feel things."

Connor doesn't reply, sighing and drooping an arm across Evan's midsection - the other tucked between them against his chest. It's rarely admitted, but he feels safer with Evan next to him than anywhere else.

It doesn't take long for Connor to fall asleep, the crying exhausting him and Evan's gentle back rubs lulling him into a calmer state.

Evan takes a bit longer, still slightly worried about his boyfriend. He kisses the boy's forehead softly, brushing a strand of hair from his face and gently tracing a finger down his soft cheek.

Connor looks peaceful as he sleeps, even with tear streaks and dark circles staining his eyelids. Soft, black eyelashes rest against his cheekbones. Chapped lips are parted slightly, allowing his warm breath to tickle Evan's nose.

He's beautiful.

A soft "I love you, Connor" is whispered toward the sleeping boy, Evan pulling him closer and linking their free hands together. Eventually, he joins his boyfriend in a dreamless sleep.