The Right Choice

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by leafkinz

by leafkinz

this really isn't tree bros, it's more of what connor would think about how his death affected other people. more tree bros will pop up eventually 😌

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I made the right choice. I mean, yeah, of course I did, but I never realized how much my death would help other people.

Evan Hansen, who I met for the first time on the day I did it, has everything he ever wanted now. Friends, parents who are there for him, a girlfriend. He's basically popular, too, with his stupid "Connor Project" thing blowing up. I thought he understood me, what it's like to be a loser and to fade into the background... I guess not.

Zoe, my sister, she's happy. She's genuinely happy without my horrible presence in her life. She talks about me like I was a monster and she's glad I'm dead. She probably is. Yeah, we weren't close at all in the last few years before I pulled the plug, but I really thought she cared about me like I cared about her. Oh well.

My parents are actually acting like they love each other - hell, maybe they do now. I was the disgusting creature forcing them apart. My mental health issues caused so many fights between them, and Mom might tell me it wasn't my fault, but Dad would probably agree. She'd want to spare me, but he knows the truth. God.

Jared Kleinman and Alana Beck, who I don't think I ever even talked to, are living better lives because I'm gone. Jared has an actual friend through Evan, and seems to want to pretend he was friends with me, too. Alana has a purpose because of the Connor Project. They barely knew me, especially the real me, but their lives changed for the positive. Not surprising.

Even people who didn't know I existed before I died are happier now. The Connor Project brought people together all over the world and gave them a place, not to "remember" me, but to deal with their own mental health and get the help they need. A lot of people are alive because I'm dead. Fuck.

So yeah, it's pretty clear. It's pretty obvious I made the right choice when I downed that pill bottle and died right there in the stupid park. No one came for me, no one saved me, no one said "hey, Connor, maybe dying isn't right for you." Because it was right for me. I made a lot of people's lives better by ending my own.

I made the right choice.