Paradoxically Yours...

Frankly My Dear...

(prompt: 'frustration' 15/12/2017)

"What's that, sonny boy? Can't hear you. Have to speak up."

Otto sighed loudly. Gramps was getting deafer by the day. If he hadn't been born without ears, I'd suggest he think about cleaning them out more often, he thought. But he knew he had questions worth persevering with. They'd plagued Otto for days, as he tried to work up courage to ask this quite regal old fellow. With a name like Winston, you didn't bother him with frivolity and froth.

Otto felt confident his were the top-notch variety, so he cleared his throat, took his deepest breath and raised his voice several decibels, despite the thundering in his ears. "Is it because of all your hearts pounding, Gramps? Is that why you can't hear me? And is that true... ABOUT ALL OUR HEARTS, I MEAN?"

"No need to SHOUT, young Otto." Gramps managed a small shudder right through his body. The flesh might be a bit weak these days, but the spirit is doing just fine dandy, he thought. Hmm, now about this heart business. "Yes it is true - if you mean the bit about us having five hearts. Someone's idea of compensation for being born with no arms and legs, it seems." He snorted loudly as he could. "But we've learned how to compensate the frustrations THAT presents. That someone forgot to lose our brains. Now THAT was an oversight if I ever saw one."

Otto wriggled and squirmed with delight. Brains AND five hearts. Oh boy! Just wait until the next time some unkind-type soul ridiculed him. He'd show them. He'd have a little think about that and perfect his answer, but in the meantime he had another pressing question. This one was unthinkable.

"Cousin Leopold told me that his brother Kendall's girlfriend Diedre, told him that she heard you were once cut in half. And you lived! It's not true... is it, Gramps?" And Otto would have smirked in a 'knowing' kind of fashion, if only he'd been born with lips. His mouth was right where it should be, and strong? Like a weightlifter, nearly. Well... somewhere close.

Unbelievably, Gramps nodded his head. "It's true," he said quite proudly to the sightless Otto, who was busily using his light receptors to sense where his grandfather was. "Cut off in my prime, some thought." And he laughed. "Not this old soldier. I just sucked it up, and like the saying goes about making lemonade with the lemons Life gives you, I simply grew another back half." He chuckled. "Lucky it wasn't my front end, boyo OR further up my food chain. I'd have been 'cactus' then."

If Otto could have made a monster 'O' with his mouth he would have, but instead he went amazingly still (no mean feat for a youngster like him). His five hearts beat thunderously as his brain went into overdrive and found the answer to those who would hassle him and jeeringly call him 'Utter'.

"Frankly, my dears... I don't give a worm."