Paradoxically Yours...

A Cornflake's Chance...

(prompt: 'instructions' 8/9/2017)

"He was blind?"

"No... no... no!" Karen rolled her eyes in exasperation. "I'm saying the famous (or was that infamous?) Dr. Kellogg could not 'see' anything past his own stubborn, bigoted view of women."

"Wow! They're tough words, sis." Layla pointed at the title of the grand old book Karen held. "'Medical Wisdom of the Nineties' doesn't sound narrow-minded. And women were well and truly... uhrr, what's it called?... emancipated? By the '90's. Weren't they?"

"Absolutely... if you mean the 1990's. But this is the 1890's! "

Layla's eyes widened impossibly, leaving Karen struggling through her laughter to splutter, "... and that's not ALL. You know Kellogg's Cornflakes? Well—"

"NO! Don't tell me... he's THE Kellogg of Kellogg's Cornflakes? Ahh, c'mon. Cornflakes go back THAT far?"

"It's true." Karen took a deep breath, her voice almost serious, though her eyes twinkled shamelessly. "Dr. John Harvey Kellogg and his brother Will invented Cornflakes, but had a major falling-out over the amount of sugar in the recipe. Will went on to gradually build up a factory with a lucrative production. But John was more interested in women's health... and providing instructions for every woman to function at her peak. He created a sanitarium to study and research the reasons for their health, or lack of it."

"A sanitarium? What's that?"

"Old-fashioned word, isn't it?" Karen closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. "If you'd put down that cell-phone once in a while and read a bit more, you'd learn some amazing—"

"Oh yair, sure. Like this Kellogg stuff." Layla spread out both hands, palms up. "Why should I bother? You do enough reading for both of us... and quite a few others, too," she added. The corners of her mouth twitched mischievously.

Karen pretended to ignore the interruption, saying, "Well, his sanitarium was a kind of mixture of research into the benefits of exercise and deep breathing, and different types of foods... and Dr. Kellogg did an in-depth examination of - and I quote - 'Girlhood, Maidenhood, Wifehood and Motherhood"'. Karen couldn't resist a chuckle at the height Layla's eyebrows reached in clear disbelief.

"Maidenhood?" She repeated wonderingly. "Sure you haven't gotten your books mixed up? This sounds like Maid Marion and Robin Hood."

"Oh no," Karen shook her head. "Look here in the Table of Contents - chapters like The Effects of Perverted Social Habits, and False Modesty, and Atrophy of the Breast. And get this one - Inconvenient and Imperfect Privy Accommodation—"

"Like duhhrr! Half the female population has atrophy of the breast, and the other half have... have... ," Lyla faltered, searching for something appropriate. "I've got it - an inflated opinion of themselves. That'll do. But WHAT is privy accommodation? A private suite in an upmarket hotel, maybe? Except that shouldn't be inconvenient or... what was that other word?"

"Imperfect, lovey." Karen's face twisted in a wry smile. "Hmmph! Wonder what the good Doctor would think of today's common name for it - 'the little girls' room'!"