Paradoxically Yours...

A Colourful Youth

(prompt: 'bottle' 19/5/2017)

They say it looks 'pretty freaking awesome', and that it's a 'completely bad-ass look'.

It's the latest 'BIG THING' - a close second to the 'little black dress'.

It's 'hopping on the grey hair dye train' or the 'Granny Hair Trend'. There's an ice-greyish called 'Brr' and even an 'antique grey'. Hmm...

The wannabe platinum popsies are queuing at their hair salons to pay hundreds of dollars to embrace this questionable trend of 'looking so serene and pretty; having a young face with 'old' hair! So cool!'

Feels like only yesterday the trendsetters were all becoming bottle-blondes. Another memorable year saw a mass 'turning Japanese' fetish where many strange shades of stark black were seen - none of which even tinily resembled the glorious blue-black sheen of the true Asian hair. I imagine much girlish giggling behind those wonderful hand-painted fans at the fabulous foibles of Western ladies.

A wondrous array of colours followed. Hot Pink, Orange and Green were usually accompanied by startling makeup - particularly of the eyes and lips. And the Rainbow Connection obviously brightened a dull day (or week or three) for many before they faded, like all rainbows do.

"It's a statement," says one leading hairdresser. "The celebrities have done every bright and bold colour under the sun, so what's next? The only other 'shocking' colour left is grey."

Was Steve Martin the first celebrity to go prematurely grey and let it happen? Poor man faced quite an onslaught, especially from one website that dedicated a page to this and other equally embarrassing 'afflictions' - like bed-wetting and excessive gas! Relatively hot on Steve's heels, we found Richard Gere and George Clooney allowing their locks to lovingly embrace their age and comfortably frame their gorgeous faces. Seemingly the affliction had disappeared - instead they were declared 'silver foxes'.

I went to work on a few descriptive terms for 'au naturel' colour change. I'm quite 'shaken, not stirred' by these -

gravitational grey (well, all else droops - maybe the colour kind of slowly leaks out, too?), and

gradational grey (why does it start at the temples, so often? Is the inner grey matter closer to the surface at that fragile point?) and,

autogenetic grey (well, it IS self-generated and it IS natural - BUT I must admit to liking the other words to describe this situation - unpremeditated, involuntary) and, the one that 'blows me away' -

garden-variety grey (is this actually 'Green'-grey? As in mould? Eww... except there is of course the 'golden oldie mouldy'). Be patient dearies - your moment in the moonlight WILL come.

Uh-oh, time to bring out different bottles, ladies. The blind followers of fashion will learn the overwhelming obsession for 2017 is to embrace the Danish concept of hygge (or hugging), its warmth and comfort - soft coppers, rich browns, buttery blondes. But many will remain unperturbed - challenged even -

'It's just hair! If you do it and don't like it, you can always dye it another colour - or even back to natural!'