Paradoxically Yours...

Break Free

(prompt: 'stress' 22/9/17)

"Don't stress Molly," my Doctor said. "Straight home, feet up, favourite music... relax yourself completely. Anything upsets you - mentally turn away, leave it for another time. For now your body needs a whole heap of TLC."

And I vowed to myself I could do it. Even as scary thoughts of the pending health decisions to be made by others crowded most of my thoughts. Stop right there Molly. Everyone knows how you like to be in control. So this time, instead of fighting it, how about... uhrr what do they say? ...'Go with the flow' - that's it. Could bring it's own bizarre kind of relaxation... a kind of pleasure, even? Handing over the reins for once. Letting someone else take control of whatever Destiny has written next for me. It was true. A strange, even foreign? peace was sliding over me like a soft mantle, as I sat, slowing my breathing to match the music on the CD player. No reason I couldn't start this relaxation/resignation 'stuff' straight away in the car, I'd reasoned with myself as I left the medical clinic carpark and turned for home. I'm SO tired. Home's looking better by the moment. Wonder if I could sneak in a little nap before tea? And I yawned several times, at the thought of my lounge and my cosiest ever crocheted ru—

CRASH! SCR-EE-EE-EE-CH! The whole car shuddered with the impact of... what? My eyes flew straight to the reflection in my rear vision mirror, to see a 'something' bouncing off my shattering rear window to execute a few somersaults down the road. An unrecognisable 'something'! But, but... what the?? There's no vehicle behind me. And idiotically I swivel my head to look back, as though the culprit would magically appear, using my actual vision to check. Nothing! Just a few great pointed shards of the wide rear window hanging around like icicles from a winter's roof.

Despite the burning sensation deep in my ears along with a hollow ringing, and a heart violently beating like a kettle drum, I found myself spinning to face frontwards again ready to leap out of my car. And as it totally filled my driver's side vision, I remembered the huge semi-trailer waiting alongside me at those traffic lights, and realised he was now several metres into the intersection, but stopped again. Has someone hit him and slewed him into me? In my confusion, that was the first possibility to mind. But why would only the rear window break?

Later it was established that the heavy webbing load straps securing the huge steel frame to the semi-trailer had sheared off as the vehicle moved forward with the traffic-light change... the one I didn't see because of him... and my reverie. Load strap fatigue, the authorities later decided. Cheap Asian imports, counterfeit copies of the 'real' heaviest duty straps, using unreliable nylon which reacts to moisture, instead of polyester. Supposedly waterproof, but - urine has a detrimental effect on nylon and rats love to pee on the stuff!

I heard again the Doctor's words, "Don't stress, Molly." No! Never! It was only our beautiful, immaculate Ford Fairmont. I still can't laugh... or relax... about that moment in time.