We are a different type of family-- EDDSWORLD monster au

Fruity nicknames

Once everything was sorted, Tom left Edd sleeping. He tiptoed out the room, lightly closing the door behind him: not wanting to wake his little brother. He went towards his Pa, (who was trying to get the green stains out of the carpet, again.)
"Hi Papa,"
"Hay, bowling ball." Tom giggled at the stupid nickname his Pa gave him. The entire family knows Patryk likes to give people wacky names.
"Where's daddy?"
"Oh, he's just popped out to do some shopping."
"M'kay. Do you need a hand Pa?"
"Nah, I'm good Tommie, thanks for the offer. Can you go make sure your brothers aren't fighting."
"Sure thing."

Tom saluted his father and went straight to his mission. To his surprise, Tord and Matt where just talking normally.
"Hay guy's."
"Hi Tom,"
"Sup, earthling."
"Tord, your an earth-"
"Shhhh, hear that Matt, thats the sound of nobody caring." Pouting, the ginger kept quiet, and started admiring himself in the metal spoon from the table.
"Anyway, are there any pancakes left,"
"There would be, if you didn't EAT MINE!"
"Oh, yeah."
"Tom how di-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!" A loud scream filled the house, causing Patryk to run down the stairs.
"Wh-What happens?" He panted in between gasps for air.
"I can't my reflection!"
"Matt," Pat spoke softly.
"What?"
"You're a vampire."
"I'm surprised you can see your reflection as often as you can,"
"Tord, shut up, can't you see how horrible this it!"
"I may not be able to see that, but I can still see my reflection."
"Tord, that wasn't very nice."
"Nobody asked you, Thomas."
"Tord."
"Patryk."
"Say sorry to your brothers."
"I am deeply sorry for being such a rapscallion, especially at such a young age. I hope you, by dear brothers, can find it in you hearts to forgive me for mocking your discomfort, and using such awful language."
"Tord. I won't ask you again."
"Fineeee. Tom, Matt, I'm sorry for making fun of you and being rude."
"God I can't wait for Paul to come home."
"I'm sorry, Pappy."
"Why are you sorry, Tom?"
"For making you stressed," the guilt in his voice melted Pat's heart.
"Don't be silly, pineapple."
"Pineapple?"
"Yeah, pineapple's are spiky on the outside, like your hair, and soft and sweet on the inside." He picked up and nuzzled his son.
"Pa, if Tom's a pineapple, what am I."
"Well, Tord, I see you being a dragon fruit."
"A what?"
"A dragon fruit, they have bigger spikes than a pineapples, but less, and they're sour one the inside, however some people, and monsters, enjoy them." Tord smiles at he father's answer.
"Do me, do me,"
"Ok, Matt, you are a.... Peach, they are very yummy and sweet, but can give a tangy taste when cooked up." The boys giggled at their new nicknames.
"Papa?"
"Yea, my little dragon fruit?"
"What's Eddie." Pat thought about his unstable son upstairs,
"Hum..... Eddie would be a,"
"A GREEN APPLE!" Tom suddenly burst out.
"And why would Edd be an apple?"
"Well, apples are classic, like wizards, and everyone likes them. They can be sweet and sour but no matter what they are, people always want more."
"Huh, I guess your right." Patryk looked at his son with a smile, he loved all his little fruit children. Even though they can be a handful, they're his and Paul's. They are the most perfect imperfect family in his eye and he wouldn't ask for it to be any different.

"HONEY, IM HOME!" A yell, then a door slam filled the silence.
"DAD!" Pat followed his excited monsters to go see his lover.
"Hay babe." He pecked Paul's cheek's.
"Hi Matt, Tord, Tom... Where's Edd?"
"Oh, Eddie got poorly so we put him back to bed." Tord looked worryingly in the general direction of Edd's room.
"Uncontrollable radioactivity." Pat whispered in the other werewolf's ear. He nodded his head in understanding.
"I'm going to go check on him."
"Ok dad," The three said in union.
He handed Pat the bags of food he'd bought and went to go see his fourth son.

The steps creaked under Paul's pressure as he stumbled up them. When he got to the top the saw the wet spot on the floor, Pat  trying to clean Edd's mess. He knocked on the green door with a golden 'Edd' painted on it, with stars around it.
"Edd? It's dad."
"..."
"I'm coming in." He swung the door open and sat down next to his sleeping son. "Hay, Champ," Paul shook Edd in an attempt to wake him up.
"Hugh, Morning dad," a high groggy voice started as Edd's green eye's opened.
"You feeling alright?"
"Yeah, but the taste is still there."
"Here," he handed the boy the glass of water from his bedside table.
"Thanks daddy,"
"No problem, want something to eat?"
"Yeah, dad?"
"How come this happens?"
"What?"
"How come the green goo happens?"
"Oh, it's just the down side to being radioactive, there is good parts I promise, you just haven't unlocked them yet." He reassured Edd.
"Oh ok." Paul pulled him into a tight hug,
"I love you Eddie. I hate seeing you like this."
"I love you too dad,"
"C'mon lets go get a snack, don't tell your Pa, but I bought Cola." Edd's face lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Yay, thank you!" Paul and Pat came to the realisation that it's unhealthy for an eight year old to have such an addiction to a caffeinated drink so Patryk has be desperately trying to stop Edd from having too much.

They went downstairs, well Paul went downstairs carrying Edd on his hip. As soon as they stepped into the kitchen, Edd burst out laughing at the scene in front of him. Tord had his black wings out and had flew onto the roof, he held Tommee bear above the fire, Tom was screaming, fear evident in his voice. Pat was yelling at Tord to get down. Matt was in bat form trying to get the teddy back.
"TOM GIVE ME TOMMEE BEAR!"
"Come up here and get him yourself."
"Tord, you are in so much trouble,"
"Papa, it's just fun."
"IT IS NOT FUN, MY WINGS ARE HURTING FROM FLAPPING THEM TOO MUCH!"
"Then stop trying to fight me, bloodsucker."
"Never!"
"Have it your way. I'm just trying to be a good brother and help Thomas transform."
"He'll transform when he's ready."
"Well I'm getting bored of waiting."
"Tord." Everyone jumped at the sound of Paul's voice.
"H-Hi dad." Though Tord would never admit it, Paul terrified him, especially when he was angry. Don't take that the wrong way, Tord loves him with all his heart, he was a great dad, but he was so intimating.
"Tord. The hell you think your doing?" Edd had tears in his eyes from laughing too hard. Paul set down the green monster and grabbed Tord from the ceiling and gave Tom back his bear.
"Tord, being a horrible person won't get you anywhere in life."
"O-Ok dad, sorry Tom, Matt, Pa."
"It's ok Tord, just don't take Tommee bear again." Tom nuzzled into his teddy.
"O-ok."
"Pa?"
"Yes, Matt?"
"Edd's drinking Cola again."
"Damnit Paul, why the hell did you get more caffeine?" Paul just shrugged and went to go get Edd away from too much Cola.