Boy *space* friend (Cameron Boyce)

chapter 17

i take a deep breath. "Evan, i'm not going to lie to you. i've liked you. for so long. and.... i still do." i sigh. "but not the way i used to." he frowns. "so... what are you saying?" he asks. i look at our hands again but this time i pull mine away. "Evan, i love Cameron. and i know that he cares about me. honestly, i've hoped for this moment for quite a while but i think it came around two years too late."

Evan is silent. he clears his throat. "well." he says. "that's okay. thanks for being honest with me, Max." i try a smile. "of course." i say. we both stand up.

"i better head off now," he says. "see you around." he heads back inside, leaving me out on the patio. i hear him thanks Nathan for dinner and leave.

i sigh and put my uead in my hands. i stay this way for a long time.

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when i head back inside, it's almost midnight. Nathan is sitting in the recliner with a cup of coffee. he looks at me. "you don't look so great." he says. i take a seat at the armrest of the chair. "shoulda seen the other guy." i reply, a weak attempt at a joke.

Nathan laughs gently. "unfortunately, i did." he says, "he didn't look to well either, kid." he furrows his brow, "what happened out there? you were getting along so well at dinner."

"cute story." i say, sarcastically. Nathan laughs. "shoot."

i tell him everything from Evan's confession to what was going through my head. Nathan listened really well. he always does and i love him for it.

he scratches an invisible beard when i finish talking. "hmmm." he says. "well, i'm proud of you, kid. you did the right thing." i sigh sadly. "then why don't i feel good?" i ask. he puts his and on my shoulder. "the right thing to do sometimes may not feel right at first but it's what counts in the greater scheme of things." i look at him, he's absolutely right.

i give a small smile. i ruffle Nathan's hair playfully. "you're a pretty smart kid." i say. he smirks. "back at you, Max."  then he kisses my forehead and sends me to bed.

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i lay awake for hours thinking about Cameron and Evan. i play back in my head how i hesitated before i told Cameron that i loved him. i go back to the look in Evan's eyes when i blew him off. i really feel like a horrible person.

i check my phone. it's 2:46 am. i sigh. i can't take it anymore. i unlock my phone and call Cameron. he answers on the second ring.

"hey, beautiful." he whispers from the other end. he sounds wide awake. "can't sleep?" i ask him. i hear him laugh softly. "i should be asking the same of you." he replies. i sigh. "i just- i need someone to talk to right now." i say.

"go out to your back yard. i'll be there in 5 minutes." he says and hangs up before i can utter my response.

i put on a pair of basketball socks a large grey Hollister hoodie that goes all the way down to mid-thigh, revealing just the hem of my boxers underneath. i pad down the stairs and open the blinds that cover the sliding door that leads to the back patio. i almost jump out of my skin when i see a person's silhouette sitting at the edge. i calm down when i realize that it's Cameron.

i step outside into the slightly chilly air and take a seat next to Cameron, at the edge of the patio, facing the back lawn. immediately, he takes my hand and laces out fingers together, i lean into his shoulder and breathe in the smell of him, mostly the scent of laudry detergent with hints of his cologne.

"so what's wrong?" he asks me, kissing the top of my head. i sigh. "well, i invited my old friend over to dinner with me and Nathan."

"how did that go?" he asks. "oh wait, was this that skater dude who you used to be madly in love with?" he laughs. i hit his arm lightly. "too soon, Cam." i tell him. "continue, then," he says.

"well, he brought me out here and told me that he likes me." i say, "and i don't know whether he means that he still likes me or he just started liking me when we met again or -"

"wait. when did you meet him?" he asks. "just this afternoon at the studio." i say. "but eitherway, that's what he told me," Cameron sighs deeply. "you still have feelings for him, don't you?" i frown and pull away to look at him. he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"what? no. that's not wh-"

"save it. it's fine. i understand." he says. he gets up and starts to walk away. i chase him across the grass in my socks. "Cameron!" i say. i take him by the wrist and make him face me. i take his face in my hands. "i was going to tell you that i blew him off. i said no." i say. "hey, look at me. i'm not going anywhere, Cam. i love you, okay?"

then i kiss him. hard and long. all the words that i couldn't quite express right, i told him all there. after a bit, he pulls aways and looks into my eyes. "okay." he says.