If I Lose Myself

Chapter Thirteen: Astoria

Chapter Thirteen: Astoria

January 1997

Astoria felt as if the whole world was completely against her. She had retired early from the New Years' Gala, hardly bearing all of the information that just met her like a tidal wave.

First, it was the sudden announcement of Daphne getting married right off the bat this year. She felt completely blindsided by both her parents and Daphne. Daphne never told her that she'd be getting married this year. Merlin's beard, she's only just turning seventeen. Nobody in their right mind would allow it, especially since her sister hadn't even graduated from Hogwarts.

Then, oh, sweet Merlin, then – the confirmation of Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy's engagement popped out of nowhere. Pansy wouldn't have gloated to her about it if it hadn't been true. And her worst fears came to light during that gala upon hearing the truth.

Not only was she mad at both Pansy and Draco, but she was also mad at herself. Her naivety got the best of her – and she no longer wondered why people called her little Greengrass. She knew very little of the world and like her mother said, she's still so young. But fifteen years of age was not that young. In fact, she should have known more pains by now. She didn't think that pain had to involve an engagement she took no part in.

But she barely had time to dwell on her own pain. There were more important things like her sister's incoming marriage. It was still hard to believe despite being ingrained with the idea for weeks now. It had to take her a while before she could recover from the news of an engagement, and Merlin forbid she ever recovers from a marriage that's to take place in a few months' time.

The holidays finally came to a close when Astoria and Daphne were prompted to take the Floo Network to Hogwarts instead of the steaming red-engine train at Platform 9 3/4. Speculation circulated was due to the school's fear of having another incident like Katie Bell's from ever happening again.

Astoria could hardly believe how time flew. She had hoped to stay at home longer since hearing recent news about disappearances and sudden deaths, and that she had even begged her dad to let her stay a bit longer than necessary. But as always, she didn't often get what she wanted. It seemed a miracle that an illness would have kept her longer and far away from Hogwarts. And yet, when she most needed it, it betrayed her.

However now, she was sitting beside Luna Lovegood and Luna's other friend who had just recently sat with them, Neville Longbottom during dessert time at dinner on their first day back, having to catch up the way they unfortunately hadn't without the Hogwarts Express. They sat at the Ravenclaw table, which was hardly filled due to the lack of some late students.

Daphne, on the other hand, had dreadfully set off to do Prefect duties. Apparently, Pansy showed no mercy to her when she immediately told her sister to sub for her on today's Prefect watch. It was disconcerting, considering how since the majority of the students were sent off by Floo, there were still a number of Prefects lacking due to being late, no doubt. And Pansy found it entertaining to let Daphne do all the work, to which Daphne agreed reluctantly; never once having to say no to a Parkinson.

Astoria didn't even think it was possible to let someone else sub for Prefect, but perhaps if you were Pansy, you could bully anyone into thinking such a thing is, indeed, possible.

The Great Hall seemed almost barren despite several students just now entering the space covered in soot and dust from no doubt the fire places they'd just floo'd in. Thus, it gave students some liberty to sit with their friends from other houses; despite the professors all seated up the steps—barely giving them much attention as they discussed feverishly amongst themselves.