Cries Behind Smiles

Chapter 10: Falling without knowing

I'm just having breakfast in Sunday morning with my parents and bhai(brother).

Arshad Chacha had shifted to their own house near our home after spending a month with us.

I used to go their frequently.We had a lot of fun.

My send-ups are over and now I'm free for 15 days.Afterwards I have to prepare for finals.

Don't mistake me for those bookworms who are always studying.I study just one time and when I do,I do it perfectly.

Not leave a single line.But exams are headaches.Really, So I study regularly while in exams I chill out.I swallow enough to not tense me.I really watch movies before paper night.It is kind of my habit.

I know its weird but who said I'm not.So that's my particular routine.I always survived having good marks till now.Don't have any idea about future.

So here I am free and full of entertainment.Let me tell you the good news

There is WEDDING of my lovey-dovey-bestfriend-Chachu aka Bilal Chachu.So I'm really really happy.It is in fourteen days.So everybody is gathering.All family is at our home for celebration every night.Its hell fun.

My 2 Phuphos (Baba's sisters) are here with their children.My middle Chachu aka Islam Chachu.All children are smaller than me.

Only elder Phupho son and daughter are elder than me.They live abroad ,So I had little friendship with them.While phupho is really kind,sentimental and emotional but I love her.

Actually I love each and every person of my family.I'm always sticked to Bilal Chu like bees sticking around honey.We go shopping and enjoy alot.

When Asra Api (Elder phupho daughter) and Ayesha Api (Arshad Chacha daughter) come at our house , we arrange huge dholki.

Along with my cute little cousins.We used to sing our most popular song "Ballay Ballay".

Bhai,Ammar,Muhammed (Phupho's son) with other small cousins used to burn crackers and play carom.

Ammar used to tease me as usual but we don't get in bigger fight.

Whoa great development that we are not snapping each other throats.

Everything is going fine.Asma Chachi (Ammar's mom) is really sweet and buy me chocolates.We get along well.

Then here is the mehndi.Ayesha api is really bossy and being the eldest is helping in dressing everyone.
I bought green lehngaa for mehndi.

My hairs are cut into lairs infront of my head covering my forehead.I don't know why I get that haircut to change into some Chinese cat.

So I was getting ready.I was doing my makeup when someone slide in and stand beside me infront of mirror.

You gotta be kidding me.

The chocolate eyes glance at me and wearing the usual player smirk he has, uttered proudly

"LOOK here.You poor girls have to work alot to make yourself presentable"
while running his hand through his dark shiny hairs remarked

Allah! His head will explode with the amount of bullshit and ego he had filled in it.


" While we are natural beauty.No need to makeover"
I wanna kick this narcissist man so badly.

I rolled my eyes saying : "Oh please! Get over yourself"

He took a last glance at mirror checking himself.Then smiling ,he winked at me and left.

Oh man!!!He thinks he's Brad Pit.

Rolling my eyes,I continued.I put my hairs half knotted while the rest open.Due to haircut, they were not long like before.

When I was finished, I helped my little cousins.Then we walked where everybody was sitting.We sing alot of songs.Then the fast songs hit the floor and everybody danced.

I really love to dance.It makes me feel free and alive.No boundaries,no hesitation, just moving your body kissing the air and rocking the floor.It was lively and I loved it.

Now the proper rasm (Mehndi tradition including some rituals) was going to get started.I spotted Bilal Chu a few feet away in Brown Kameez Shalwar,beard grown up and wearing Khusa(a closed sandal).

He was looking handsome.There at corner, I spotted my brother laughing at something Muhammad Bhai said.There were more friends of Bhai that I don't know.

Bhai was wearing a Black kurta and shalwar,rocking the dress, his spikes up on his head and brown sandals.Ammar and he both were pairing up as he also wore a Black kurta and white shalwar.

Brown sandals while his hairs gelled in spikes.

Me ,Ayesha Api,Choti Phopho (younger sister of Baba) and other female cousins were holding the mehndi yellow dupatta above Chachu's head.

We were all smiling and I was teasing Chachu.Moviemaker was throwing flashes to capture the moment.

I noticed Ammar staring at me.His eyes were litting with amusement.His stare was always piercing.Like he is scanning the sole of person by just watching.Whatever, I was too busy in enjoying the function.

Afterwards, Chachu was seated and rasm began.Aunties started to give him sweets,not giving instead shoving them into his mouth,applying hena to a leaf on his hand and putting oil in his hairs.

Then me and bhai get seated and I shove the whole big ladu in Dulhaa miyaan aka Chachu mouth.He choked then swallowed back.Laughing I applied hena and massage oil in his hairs.

Bhai did the same.Then Phupho,Baba,Mama,Asma Chachi and Salma Chachi followed the same ritual.

Ammar and Ayesha Api also joined the act.Ammar tease Chachu by bringing laddu to his mouth while he opened his mouth to eat, he moved it away.

After a lot of teasing he finally brought it to Chachu mouth and he grabbed it immediately.We all were laughing.The event went awesome.

It was 1:00 am when I reached home from hotel.I was exhausted.Doli (the event of taking bride in groom's house)
was planned to reach our house.

So our guest room was decorated for Wedding Room.I went to sleep.

*****************************

The next morning we wake up early at 7:00 am.We had little breakfast then we all started to get ready.As Baraat was supposed to reach Murree which was a long ride.

My mehndi which I put on night was dry and I washed my hands with water revealing dark red colour.It was beautiful.

I wore white frock having embroidery and stone work near the edges.I combed my hair into bun leaving my bangs on forehead.They can't be pinned.

Ayesha api wore plum frock.Her hair were tied in ponytail while backcombed from front.She was looking beautiful.

Ayesha api put winged eyeliner on my eyes.I applied a light blush to my cheeks and lip balm to lips.I really hate lipstick, It makes me feel fake.So I don't wear it.

Asra Api had worn silver frock and her hair were combed into bun.She was looking attractive.So after everybody was ready,we rushed towards the car.

There I spotted Chachu.He was looking breathtaking.Carrying a golden sherwani (a long kurta with embroidery carved on it).

His face was glowing with Nur.Why not he always prayed five times.Smiling at me he beckoned me to come to him.

I embraced him as I used to when I was little kid and kissed his cheek complimenting:

"You look handsome"

"Thanku cuteness" he smiled at me and kissed my cheeks.

Afterwards I spotted my brother in Blue kurta and shalwar.A black waistcoat with little embroidery with a smirk covering his face finishing his look.

I was about to ride in with Ayesha Api,Asra Api,Choti Phupho and others when I spotted him.

He was looking devilioushly handsome with white kurta embroided with white stones at collar and cuff,alongwith white shalwar and brown sandals.

I almost pitied at loss of such a beautiful face on his ugly personality.

His hair fall on his head giving him boyish look.While those cocoa brown orbs were directed at someone from behind.He was laughing when a man said something to him.

Enough!! I got a grip of myself and seated inside.

The journey was about an hour and soon it started raining.We were talking , laughing and teasing Chachu.

Soon it ended and then we entered their house.It was beautiful.Not too large but comfy.Their tents and sitting arrangement in ground was spoiled due to heavy rain.

I looked towards bride, my soon-to-be-Chachi.She was looking pretty.I've met her before.She was nice.

She was healthy and curvy with round face,brown eyes and full lips.Dark red colour looked nice on her.

I greeted her and then we were seated.After small rituals and nikkah the ceremony was nearing the end.

Nikkah is a beautiful thing.It is so pure so divine.

I might be rebel,stubborn and of modern views.But I believe in Nikkah.

My beliefs are adamant.I don't believe in before marriage relationships.

They are lies,they are sins.They never tempted me.I don't do boyfriends and like it.

As It is in Quran

"Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity" - Ayah 26 of Surah an-Nur

Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure"

So I have a strong faith on it.When I know the one meant for me is already decided by Allah why to ruin yourself with other men.

Nothing is better than bond of Nikkah.

It is a message of heavens.
It is bond joining two hearts and soul.
It is real.

The ceremony ended and we started to leave for Rawalpind.Where the Walima(A kind of reception) was to be held later tonight.

Due to heavy rain my white frock was muddy at its edges.I was really frustated with rain.

We reached late.I had a habit of sleeping during travelling since childhood.I woke up when we were nearing house.Me and Ayesha Api reached house.

In hurry we were getting ready.While others elders had left to receive people at reception.

I wore seagreen long shirt with golden embroidery on it along with brown leggings and mixed dupatta.I let my hairs falling on my shoulders.After applying a little makeup I was ready.

Ayesha Api wore yellow frock with golden stones carved on collar and near the edges of arms.She backcombed her hair while rest of hers fall on her shoulders.

She was looking beautiful.We then rushed towards Wedding Halls.Reaching there I met all eyes , there was huge crowd of people.

There is separation for MEN and WOMEN.We don't do combined gatherings and I'm thankful to my family for it.

I met everyone.We take few snaps.Soon Bridegroom arrived along with my family.So we would take family photos.

Ok I hate men in female side.But family photo was necessary.Moreover I was comfortable with my family.

I maybe bold and brave.But I always felt uncomfortable with other men except my brother and Ammar.

I don't know but I feel a sense of protection around them.I was also surprised my overly protective Chachu who never liked seeing me with Non-Mahrems was comfortable and ok when I was around Amaar
saying

"He's our family and nice guy."

I never understand his curt nod.So I don't hesitate around them.

Soon I spotted them.My brother and Ammar were childhood buddies.Both were suited in grey pants and coats looking breathtaking.

We take few snaps.When I greeted him Ammar complimented
"Pyari lag rhe ho (you look pretty)"

I thanked him and give a shy smile.
I was not used to get compliments from him or my brother so it was weird.They always tease me that I look ugly in makeup.They don't do that unless they want me to do something for them.

Lets say its not the case this time.

Later we moved outside to get in cars.We were gathering when something happened which I was unable to believe.

Amaar!! Freaking Amaar throwed petals of rose on my face that he had fisted in his hands.

I was BAFFLED by his actions.You know it was as unbelievable as Meera getting married.His actions completely caught me off guard.Unable to register the situation when my senses came to me he was gone.
What the hell is brewing in his brain now.

Later ,we were seated in such a position that Amaar was beside me and nobody minded us.My family is really idiot.I'm grown up not a small child.

That dumbass was so close to me that I could sense his breath.I was too uncomfortable but that idiot was oblivious to this fact like I am some child.He still considers me that baby girl that used to sleep with him whenever my brother fight with me ,I used to cry and he will sooth me by patting my back and I used to lay down with him in his blankets.That was the only time when I used to find him nice.

I moved my hands trying to create some space.But he had no idea about it.He glanced at me with confusion completely oblivious of the situation.

What the hell.He still think I am small child.Not noting our position.

Suddenly realization dawned upon his chocolate orbs and he removed his hand near me.

Finally I was able to breath.I don't know where he lost his brains.

Car stopped near a shop.Then humming he moved outside of car.

I took a deep breath I don't know how long I was holding.Soon, car roared and we moved away.He stared at us in confusion.Then he realized that we left him.I laughed at his situation.

Poor lad

Reaching home we helped in settling the bride in bedroom.After small talks and laughing we left her.

Due to much population as everyone was in our home I slept at floor and poor guys slept at sofa.

The next day something was changed inside me.I was smiling like maniac.Moreover Amaar was loooking at me with different gaze.Like he noted me the first time as a girl not a child or I was overthinking.But I felt something different.
It was different from past.

He was always that mysterious unable to read.I think his mystery draws me towards him.

Soon when he departed , the pain stinging inside me made me realized....

I was falling...falling for him