Cries Behind Smiles

Chapter 21 : His Arrival

Her health was deteriorating day by day.
She was lying on hospital bed in ICU ward.Her eyes closed.Breathing ragged, drool with puss, was sometimes leaving her mouth, a cotton was wrapped up near the mouth region.

Nasogastric tube was attached, connected through her nose.Her drowsy half opened eyes open once in a while to roam around the room to take us in
Me and my younger Aunt(dado's youngest daughter) were standing near her bed.
Everyone else was outside coming once in a while to check upon her.

Our whole family was ourside the ward...there was a huge crowd.In that moment I realized she was very beloved in everybody eyes.

Tears rolled down my cheeks when her eyes connected with mine conveying our last goodbyes.I was trying not to let her go,pleading with my eyes to stay,but her eyes were too tired,too tired that after few moments they dropped down.
I knew she was fighter but this time she didn't want to win.
SHE was losing the battle of life.

THAT night a few youngsters(my cousins brothers) with my brother stayed for night.Because we have to manage with manual ventilator which works by boys pumping.I saw my brother first time breaking infront of me after my mother's death.He was such cold person that you could never read his expression.He always wore that 'I don't care mask" all the time.

HE was apple of my dado's eyes.She was a mother to him.

ALL night the boys, my brother have done pumping.My first cousin-Ayeshaa Api also stayed with my 2nd Chachi..

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AT noon they came I pounced on my brother to ask for dado's health:
"NAIN biya how's dado? Is she improving? did she talk?"

He was smiling, clad in that brown jacket
"HAYA she's improving..she talked to me ,she kissed me " he pointed towards his forehead with tears rolling down his cheeks..
"HAYA she kissed me here.....she will be fine...she will be okay na??

I removed my own tears with my fingers and smiled "yes InshAllah"

API (my first cousin) came to me and exclaimed : "Hayaa she beckoned me to come and she kissed me too I talked to her.she was restless.I told her
یہ جو آپ تکلیف سہ رہی ہیں اس سے آپ کے گناہ جھڑ رہیں ہیں ۔اللہ‎ آپ کے صبر کا آپ کو اجر دینگے ۔

She nodded at me Hayaa "she will be fine." "Our efforts will never be useless.We will bring her back to life"
"INSHALLAH Api InshAllah" I replied.

We were too happy.We dressed up to visit her.Today me and Ayesha Api were going to stay for night.

Bari phupho,Choti phupho,Bilal chu,Arshad chacha,Islam chu,baba my all chachis, everyone was there outside ward.She was shifted from red zone to yellow zone.

I entered with Api and bari phupho.We were all smiling.Choti phupho was already there.Me and choti phupho were going to dress her up.

But after few moments her breathing turn rugged,she was taking short asthmatic breaths ,her heart beat started fluctuating.
I knew something was wrong

I cried for doctors and asked "Do something please ...what's happening to her...give her fake oxygen....Please
I was crying hysterically"

He checked her hand veins,heart beat, eyes and then said:
Her veins are all swollen.her body is not accepting medicine we are giving through drips.Her blood is clotting.Pray to Allah we can't do anything....
Even if we give her external oxygen her body can't accept it"

"NO....there must be a way" I said between sobs *please* .

Her lips were moving she was reciting kalma
We all started reading Quran in loud voices.Bari phupho started reading Surah Yaseen.

I was checking her pulse through her body,I kissed her hand, tears still streaming down my face.Her whole body was swollen due to kidney malfunctioning and leaking of heart wall.

EVERYONE was crying.Last time she looked around room and her stare just seized.
CHOTI phupho started shouting and sobbing
"AMI'S eyes are struck.she's going....she's going for real"

AND then her heartbeat stopped.
MY cousin phupho closed her eyes and speak
انا للّہٰ و انا ا لیہ راجیعو ن

THAT moment I lost it...I lost it completely and started screaming Dado Jaaan Dado jaan

I hugged Api and she said
"AMI left Haya...Ami left us she's not coming back...she left for real"

CHACHU kissed dado's toes and started sobbing, he hugged me and said "our efforts didn't work well Haya...Today our duty is over...Our duty is over Hayaa...our Ami is no more"
I fell on my knees and cried,cried with all my heart.

ALL my family was crying and hugging each other....
"OH meri Ammi" "Dado" "Nano" were echoing in ward.My father didn't grab the truth he came through door a bit late than others

"NO she was so healthy.Her brain was fine.ALLAH U AKBAR" tears were streaming down his face but he didn't utter a word.

AFTER that I don't know what was happening,people were hugging me, kissing me,some were crying and I just sat and sat in car waiting to move towards our hometown where she would be buried.

I can't just swallow she's no more.

My brother was preparing for his exam that was tomorrow. By hearing the news, he barged in to the room shouting:
"WHERE is dado..tell me she's ok... Hayat please" he was crying and his eyes were red...
"why you stop pumping...Why you people stop pumping...I will do it for her..."
HE was moving here and there shouting. I have never seen him so raw.He was always in control of his emotions.

"I would do it for her thousand times, If it makes her alive.Please tell me Haya she's ok."..tears were rolling uncontrollably through his face.

I just hugged him crying
"She's no more.....we lost her nain biyaaaa"

He hugged me back ,crying with more sound
"Our dado left us Hayat...She left hers Hussnain."

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I was sitting on edge of car near windscreen.Ayesha api and Asra api were with me alongwith Bilal chu's wife Amna Chachi.

AYESHA api voice echoed in my ears
SHE was sobbing and saying
"AMMAR our ami left us........she's no more"

"NO they can't do anything....she left Ammar...she's no more.It was her time"

SHE turned her face towards me while removing her tears with fingers
"HE'S coming...He was crying like baby...He asked just one question repeatedly How Api? How??"

I just moved my eyes towards window.I was numb now.I can't feel anything
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HeLLO my peeps.I was sobbing writing this chapter.Writing means reliving those memories.Not every part of this story is true.It is a mixture of reality and fiction.
NEXT chapter is more intense.
A cliche seen is about to come.
SO hold your reigns and please like and comment so I know you are alive