"They say I'm wild, they're right because I possess untamed spirits"
Like the summer wind rushing through the beach, my life was going and moving.I was hell busy in my studies.
Let me tell you I was always bright student.I took part in every competition.I don't know a part of me craves for attention and affection.
Today my sister got 1st position in speech.Everybody was celebrating like we got Ferrari.
No offence I just love Ferrari.That red colour is so hot
My mom was gloating like a king who got his throne.Baba made a video of her.I wasn't envious of her.No I was just mad at the irony.
When I used to do these things.When I used to come up with medal ,no one bothers except Chachu.
He always appreciated me.He was my small beacon of life in my world of darkness.
****FLASHBACK*****
I won the great competition of quiz in school.I got a big prize.I was so happy.Everyone came even the students other than my class fellows congratulated me.
I won the championship of 6 houses.They're kind of groups in school.
I felt so special.I was on cloud nine.
It was in 5th grade.I was excited to show my parents.
I got back home.Unfortunately, no one was there.My caretaker Uncle Yaseen congratulated me.
When that huge cup was in my hands moving back at home,everybody was looking at me.I felt proud.
Baba and mama hadn't yet arrived.I waited for my father to come and see me.I wanted to see pride and affection in his eyes.
I was a child craving for his love
They don't came.I waited until night.They arrived.As usual both gave the lame excuses like
there was traffic.Office load was very much.
It became usual and we became used to.With time we don't even bother to ask why they were late.
Mama's eyes caught the prize and she said:Congratulations!
She was always fake.Her eyes betraying her words and action.I used to hate smiling people because of her, because I thought they were like her.Wolf in sheep's clothing.Never showing their true colors.
She always lied too much that sometimes it was very hard to believe what she said was truth and what was lie.
I hated people like her.Not real.
I thanked her.Then baba came he just gave me slight nod and said : GOOD
He was really tired and went to bed.I just smiled.Smiled that its ok.That people are facing worst than it.
***FLASHBACK ENDED****
Tears started streaming down my face.WHY!!!! WHAT WAS DIFFERENT NOW....
I don't hate her.Astaghfirullah! I'm not bad.I envy the love she get.I envy the hugs and kisses that felt pure and divine.
I want those warm eyes to look at me with those affection.
I know I'm ungrateful but I can't help it.
I don't know but it hurts.After 11 years it still hurts.
My heart is still alive.Why don't it just became numb and dead.It beats everytime with more power.
It was always like this.People used to smile at their Board results but I cry.I cry till there is no tear in my eyes.I cry till my whole heart bleeds.
YOU ARE READING
Cries Behind Smiles
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