Cries Behind Smiles

Chapter 32: Closure

On seeing him light was thrown in fragments of my past
Our childhood , our little mischevious movements, his encouragious words,
his kindness that had drawn me to him like a moth towards flame

If he would have come a year ago
I would have worshipped the ground he walked on

But now things were different
Now I knew he wasn't the gold I always thought him to be
he was just stone
And stone don't need worship

Same eyes , but his beard was gone that I always adored
His dressing showed he was living well off
A bitter smile was formed at the corner of my mouth
I already know that he will never settle for less
His personality demanded that attention

He had the aura around him that speaks loaded with money

But where was what I fell for?
That kindness was not in his eyes
The little things he would do for us
I wish I could forget those cute movements

Why he had to be nice to me
When at the end he was going to step on me like I was nothing but dust

Who was he?
I didn't know at the moment .

You destroyed me but not an ounce of remorse
There was no pureness there that I always adored

It raised questions in my mind that
was there really pureness or it was a facade?

Those eyes I adored were empty
There was no humbleness
no fear of Allah that I always loved
whats wrong with my eyes
why they're not drowning in his like they used to
Why I'm not attracted to their depths like I used to???

Did anything changed?

He's not same or did I misinterpret everything?

Ya Allah was he never a true believer?
Allah G I spent 16 years of my life with this person and I never noticed his true character

His lust for money , power and fame
his unpurety
his real goals

My whole life seemed an illusion to me

He was not what I craved for?
He was never because it was all facade?
He just wanted Dunya and its glamour
and I thought there is a sweet and kind heart there

How could I be so naive?
Was he really like this or world changed him
why he let the world change him?

He was the man who used to sit on floor in weddings if there was no empty place .
He used to eat three days old meals with a big smile on face .
I remember the times he always slept on floor as he liked it and don't even said a word of annoyance .
He never demanded attention
Or was it just an act?

Few tears poured down my cheeks at this horrible realization
My heart was beating like crazy at the truth that was revealed .
What I have always craved for??
A dust
A mere piece of dust
Oh Allah I'm ashamed that I ever loved someone like him in my past
He was all I never wanted to encounter

An illusionist
A hypocrite
A beautiful vessel yet empty inside
A magician
Yes he made people fall prey to his charms and then killed them with such smoothness that you didn't realize
when and where you are wounded!!

Hayaa hey !!!!

No need to get emotional okay
you're married now

His always bold words that excites my nerves were now like a splash of cold water on my face