Trigger-Happy Potioneer

Catching Up with Real Life

"Hey, you made it!" Meg exclaimed as I was guided into the house by my kidnappers.

"More like you got caught... You okay?" Nic asked.

"I'm just bruised." I fell from a bike - a few scrapes are expected.

"You can still cook right? Make food!" The collective grumbles of three stomachs replied to Meg's statement. I sighed.

"You three would be like lost ducks without me, huh..."

"What was that?" Delia asked, sounding slightly irritated.

"Nothing." I left for the kitchen. I like cooking, so I don't see this as forced labor.

Delia's kitchen befits her gigantic house. Compared to my house, everything is supersized. Even the pantry is the size of my room. Yet, a new challenge faced me in all this novelty. What am I going to make? Unlike at my house, I haven't a clue as to what's actually in the kitchen. I guess I'll throw something together...

. . .

"Is this... chicken salad?" Meg asked.

"Yeah. There was too much to choose from, so I cramped up and went to default."

Yep. I made a huge bowl of chicken salad. Romaine lettuce, spring mix, orange and lemon pulp, sliced hard-boiled egg, bell peppers, shredded chunk chicken with balsamic vinaigrette and a dash of salt and pepper. My standard meal, providing a daily dozen of veggies and protein.

"This is the first I've heard you cramp up over cooking," Delia said, pointing her fork at me.

"I cramp up over making potions. It happens." After a particularly large collection, I was at a loss at what to do with all the reagents gathered around me. I constantly made poisons until I remembered that I could do other things with the plants, like make tea or something. It just happens that I default to the simple things when overwhelmed or hitting a block in my creativity.

"Anyways, what have you guys been up to? I haven't seen you guys since that time when you left so suddenly."

"I believe you mean the time you quietly murdered us." corrected Meg.

"I'm pacifist as you know, but there's this thing called a retribution meter, and I'm supposed to give certain death to whoever fills the bar." Frankly, those three filled it past the limit, so my removing of the penalty was way more than they deserved. "Back to the point. News, I'm terribly behind."

"We're rich! Your pepper spray sold out in less than ten minutes, and people are crowding for more." Delia squealed delightfully. Her face immediately fell. "But now we've run out of it, and because of you, we can't sell more."

"Not because of me."

"Excuse me-"

"Anyways," Nic continued. "Your potions far surpass the current elixirs. When we partied with another group, I instinctively used some tea to heal a tank after a particularly strong attack. We then easily beat the enemy, but he now grills me constantly for my stuff. I had to resort to borrowing Meg's cloak-"

"Why Meg's cloak? What difference would that make?"

"Well, first I change to leather armor to fit under it, but whatever you did to it gave the cloak Recognition Inhibition. My name changes when I wear it, so people don't know who I am."

"Oh, that might be the effect of using Shadow SIlk for repairs." I said nonchalantly.

"What's Shadow Silk?"

"You know the spider that rescued-"

"Kidnapped-" Delia, please stop.

"-you guys? The silk he makes is Shadow Silk. It's great for making camouflage when I'm out hunting."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. Anyways, I can't do much at home anymore. All I can do is make poultice, which is tedious and boring."

"Why aren't you making potions like you usually do?" asked Delia, the perpetrator of both of my situations.

"Because someone threw a last-resort kamehameha at me and destroyed both my cauldron and my right arm." I said, glaring at Delia. The other two turned their heads to face her right after my statement. She blinked.

"What? He killed us."

"He can't make any more pepper spray." Meg said duly. And, no, I can make poison, I just don't need to with the stocks I have-

"What?! Noooooo...." She nearly planted her face into her salad, but I moved the plate away. Her head bonked against the hard mahogany table. She wasn't getting up.

"Wait, doesn't your arm just, I don't know, grow back?" Nic inquired.

I looked at him, dumbfounded. "Have you ever lost a part of your body without dying?"

"No, I would die from bleeding." His healing potions don't cover much ground, and I'm thinking Eoin's spells outclass player spells right now.

"If in the situation where you do lose a limb without dying, it doesn't grow back. You have to get used to living without one of your arms or legs. Of course, if your head goes, then of course you're dead, but otherwise you have to adapt."

"Really?!" Meg exclaimed. "How do you know?"

"It's happened to me twice now." First Gayettse, then Delia.

"No..." Delia moaned. "My source of wealth has been compromised..."

Of course your worry is money, like always... I mused quietly.

"I wonder how you'll get around without an arm, though." Nic wondered out loud. "There aren't any medicines we know that regrows limbs."

"I don't think a medicine like that exists; for what I understand, a lost arm is like deleted data, and medicine only repair data, not restore it. The only way to "regrow" a limb would be to overwrite with new data." I've done this, so I'm okay.

"That sucks... And how are you going to make more potions?"

"Well, I'll have to find a new cauldron, right? Shouldn't be too hard. I can just-" My statement was cut off by a sudden MREEEEEEEEEP and the sound of vibrating phones on hard surfaces. My friends all simultaneously checked their phones. "What is it?" My phone was at home - I don't bring it when I go biking.

"The servers are up already." Nic answered.

"That was fast."

"No, it's normal; they were faster during the beta." Delia answered.

"Let's go back, then! Back into our third life!" Meg cheered.

"Than I have to go back; my stuff's at home," I pointed out. "But someone wrecked my bike. It'll take forever to get back now-"

"My dad's been fixing it ever since you got here. It should be ready by now." Delia cut me off.

"Then I'll be going." I wolfed down the rest of my 3rd serving and then bolted for the door with my helmet. A hand stopped me before I could go out the door. It's heavy, but no hostility came from the gesture. "Yes, Nic?" I asked.

"What were going to say before the phones went off?"

This is why I like Nic - he actually listens to me and remembers what I say. "I'm going to buy a new cauldron. You know what that means."

"Okay then. See you." He sent me out and closed the door without another word. I jumped onto my now-repaired bike and rode away. No abnormalities, her dad is good at this. That, or he's done something like this a lot.

"Let's go!" I spurred the wheels and shot away from Delia's house, rejoicing in my returned freedom.