Starry Nights- Ashton Irwin

24

My body lie still while my mind rushed with endless thoughts and memories. My Mother had just gotten home, and I could hear here in the kitchen. She wasn't making much noise, but as my eyes stared into the white ceiling, which had taken the color of grey from the dark room, I heard a scream reach from her lips. Her feet padded down the hall, until she walked into my room. I didn't bother to look, I did'nt bother to do anything. Not even answer when she started screaming my name, asking me question after question.

I didn't hear a word.

I sat up with much speed when water came crashing down over my body. The sheets fell from me and when I looked pver to her, she was staring down at my legs with hand over her mouth and a pained expression. I too looked down, only to see the evidence of today's struggle crossed across my legs.

I even suprised myself when a laugh left my lips, my hand tracing aorund every detail.

There were marks ontop of marks. Bruises scattered everywhere, while scratches pained my inner thighs. Everything looked black and purple, and I began to cry when Mother layed a hand on my shoulder, just to ask", What happened this time?"

She looked in utter shock, which was odd, because she should've known. She should've known that this was bound to happen. And even I know that, and that's why I really don't even care. About anything.

I pulled the blankets up, and looked away. A cup was on the floor, water spilled out of it, I'm guessing that's what she used to wake me up from my undesrcibable daydream.

She still stared, I could feel it. I could feel her watery eyes boring into the back of my head, and the top of my back that was full of bruises, too. From all the pushing and grabbing, along with some nail imprints. So, I just knew she pained for me, because she always has. I know she wanted to reach forward and brush all the pain away.

But even god himself could do that.

I hurt, and she saw it, I know she did because she got onto the bed with me, this time with a small emergency kit with her. She began to clean me up, only then did I notice between my legs and around my body there was blood.

There was just, red.

I looked and looked, and flashbacks started to creep into my mind. Todays events taking another slash at my head.

"That's it baby, cry for me. Call for your beloved Mommy."

"Don't you dare hit me child, I'll have to really hurt you if you do."

"That's okay, spit on me again. I like it dirty."

"I hope you've come to realize I'm not scared of you, or anyone you could bring upon me. I will always be there, right ahead of you, ready to bring you back to me. You will never be free, you ungrateful bitch."

My eyes stung, and I didn't even notice when I started to slash out across my bed. Kicking my sheets around, only to hit air when higher above. Remembering my mom, who had backed off the bed and walked into my bathroom, I stopped. My eyes stared into her, burrying my pupils into her back. She walked back with her hands, once again, around her mouth. She was sobbing, and it was my turn to tell a story.

~

"He just...Mom, he's not a good person," My soft side started to pour out around the time my mom broke down, laying against the bed with her hands craddled to her chest. I had grabbed some sweats and a baggy tanktop, throwing them on and then sitting beside her. Her head was on my shoulder and I just played with her hair.

She wasn't speaking, just nodding every once and a while and gasping for air every other breath, she saw this coming. She just didn't think I'd be the one getting hurt, and I think it's fianlly sunk it that it was always me.

It's always been me.

"Mom, I- I have to tell you something, and you can't break down again, okay?" I didn't look down, but I could feel her head shaking up and down. My breath hitched between my throat, and I didn't think before letting my words spill out.

"He's been doing this since I was small. He stopped for a while because I promised him I'd kill him, if he ever touched me again. He took me seriously when I was 14, because I made sure of it. I found his gun he kept in his old office drawer, and I pointed it straight at his right temple, but when I pulled the trigger, I made sure only to hit his arm. It- I-," I lost my words, my eyes becoming hazzy as I stared at the wall. She was quiet, too. Finally taking it in. When I did that, 3 years ago, he blamed it on nothing. Told people that he went hunting, and someone in the distance had gotten him. Told Mom that he had gotten into some trouble, and told the police that he was robbed. Everyone had been told a different story. No one knew that truth except me, because I kept that gun hidden away.

"Mom, I haven't been a virgin since my eigth birthday," She started to cry again, and that's probably because I completely blacked out once I finished my sentence. The carpet was felt around my face, and she stared screaming when footsteps met the doorway.

"Rosie? Baby?"