Starry Nights- Ashton Irwin

25

I struggled to move, the feeling of numbness taking over my body. It was freezing ass cold at this damn park, and the alcohol in my system made everything worse, but at the same time, better.

It was an awful night. The trees were either making too much noise, or not enough. Sometimes they's sway back and forth so crazily I thought they'r break, but then they'd slow down so much the pain of the quiet haunted me. I didn't need quiet, I needed noise.

I needed a distraction.

A distration from everything, and not just everything, but everyone. It's been two weeks since my dad was thrown in jail for 25 years, two weeks since I was asked to appear in court to testify, and two weeks since I've gotten sleep. I've gotten a total of 7 hours and 10minutes of sleep, most of it isn't even sleeping. Just druken nights, passing out twenty minutes before school, either coming late or not going at all.

Aren't I just a perfect mess?

Everything's confusing, and I mean everything. blame it on being a teenager all you want, but I'm still confused, being a teenager won't change that. I'm mad at the world, and I have no idea why. Everything was just so fucked and I didn't want more fucked, I wanted freedom.

"You will never be free, you ungrateful bitch."

I threw my bottle down, the glass scattering the grey cement below. I had drank all of it, so I didn't mind throwing my anger out with it.

My hands searched my pockets, lazily, and stumbly. I took out my phone and rung someone I hadn't talked to in a while, since I didn't go to hospitals, and he had been in one all the way up until earlier this morning.

"Hello? Rose?" His voice was rather loud, and I looked down to see speaker was on. I laughed, silly me. Turning it off I could hear him calling my name through the phone. I ignored him though, taking no time to interupt him. he seemed mad, and I glanced at my phone. 2:30AM, okay, it's a tad bit late. But, he won't mind.

'Connnnnnnn!" I yelled pretty loud, his shushing bothering me. "Don't shush me, just listen, you asshole. I'll be over in ten, and we're going to partaayyyeeee." He started to speak, but I hung up the phone. Pushing the end button before he could change my mind.

I was drunk, I knew that. I was high, and I really knew that when I pressed the sweat drug to my lips, letting my lungs destroy themselves with the toxic 'air'. I just wanted to have some fun with someone other than myself or anyone who went to the parties I had attended, because, truth is, they all had the same problems as me. And I needed someone who understood, not someone who relates.

~

"What are you doing here, Rose?" Conner asked with his arms wrapped across his bare chest, I had just stumbled in through his window, falling onto his bed that was directly below, landing beside his new, patched up, self. He looked the same, but if you really looked, there was a scar. A line going from the top of his right eye to the bridge of his nose. Ouch.

It was cold in his room, and he was trying to warm himself up, probably me opening his window not helping anything.

I looked at him with clear confusion, little twat. "My Mom said you came by earlier, asking for me. Do you not want me here?" I stood up, wobbling a bit. He was quite blurry, too, and I couldn't really keep my eyes open. Of course he wants me here, I'm his best friend, right?

"Yeahhhh," I whispered to myself, his eyebrows raising when he heard my statement, but blew it off.

He stared at me for a moment, then he stood up and grabbed both my arms, holding the top and steadying me, pulling my close enough so that his forehead rest on mine. "No, I want you here, I always want you hear," His voice was full of breath, and he seemed really nervous. "But, it's late at night and you smell like pot and liqour, why are you here? You had nothing to do with me for the last two weeks, but it seems like now that you need help, you've stumbled back into my life. Do you think that's who I am? Someone who will take care of you when you can't see straight? Because, if so, I-"