Survival of the fittest [ Eminem fanfiction ]

I won't hurt you

Marshall and I were walking home, an awkward silence fell between us, I was mad at him but I didn't want to push him away.

I jerked slightly as Marshall slid his hand into mine and intertwined our fingers, he pulled me closer to him.

"On a scale of zero to one hundred, how much have you missed me?" Marshall asked, a smirk on his lips.

I rolled my eyes "five" I replied, not looking at him, he gave my hand a squeeze and laughed lightly "hundred" I muttered after a few seconds.

My eyes found his and there was now a full smile on his face "Why didn't anyone know it was your birthday" Marshall asked.

I bit my lip and looked away from him, my reasoning was silly, he gave my hand a squeeze "I don't like attention" I shrugged, it was the truth "I'm happy to let it pass"

"Seriously" Marshall muttered, he started to rub circles on the back of my hand with his thumb "you're no longer a teenager, that's reason enough to celebrate"

I scoffed "All that does is remind me I'm getting old"

"True, I can't say I've got a hot young girl on the side" Marshall nudged me. I frowned at his words "on the side"  was that my place in his life, on the side "don't over think it" he muttered.

After spending months, apart my heart ached for Marshall, I've truly missed him, his energy, his smile, even down to the small details of holding his hand yet head was telling me to run, run from him, it was not smart to be around him, he would cause me pain.

"What are you thinking" Marshall asked, I turned to look at him and he almost looked sad.

"I'm thinking I shouldn't be around you" I told him honestly, he didn't seem surprised by my words, he continued to look sad, I sighed "but I feel like I never want you to leave" I looked away from him as I whispered the words.

I hated being emotional, it would now be clear to him how attached I was to him, a small part of me felt stupid for voicing my feelings, he could use it against me.

That's what people did, used weaknesses against you, my feelings for Marshall was a clear weakness.

"I won't hurt you" Marshall squeezed my hand, my eyes turning to look at him, the sadness was still in his eyes but a gentle smile was on his lips.

"Yes, you will" no matter the struggle going on between my head and heart I already know Marshall will cause me pain, sooner or later. "I dunno if I'm strong enough to walk away from you again, you need to be the one leave"

I couldn't look at him, he had a wife and a family, he had a life that I wasn't apart of yet he seemed to consume my world.

Marshall stopped walking and dropped my hand from his, this is his choice, I've made my feelings clear, he would pick his family, he wouldn't leave them.

"Look at me" Marshall's voice was harsh, I took a deep breath and turned to look at him "I'm standing right here with you" he closed the small space between us and placed his hands on my face "I don't know what this is, but" his eyes seemed to be searching, he frowned and then blinked as if something had just occurred to him suddenly and then he was smiling "I'll never let you go, always believe that"

My heart seemed to speed up, I wanted to believe him, I'd never felt like this before and it was terrifying but I seemed to be too addicted to the feelings I had when he was around me.

Marshall leaned in and kissed my head, his hands dropping from my face, he wrapped his arms around me, I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder, I inhaled deeply and didn't want to move, the moment seemed to be too perfect.