Live Through This ---Frerard Fanfiction

Chapter Five: This is How I Disappear

Gerard's POV

*3 Months Later*

My days went the same for the next few months. Wake up in Frank’s house. Try to wake him up. Fail. Sit around until he wakes up. Try to get him to see me again. Fail, again. Make him some food and try to pass it off as if my mom dropped by and set the food on the table. Watched him as he barely ate anything. eat what he didn’t after he left the room. Do the dishes.

Watch Frankie as he just stares at a wall, or a book, or my picture. Knock over a few things and call his name. See that he can’t hear me.

But my all time favorite time was when Frank fell asleep. I could control what happened in his dreams. Well, what I said and did. I wasn’t a creep, so I never tried to. . . yeah with him, but I did cuddle him and kiss him. After seeing him cry so much after waking up made me feel terrible, so I fanned out the dreams a little.

Today was different. I heard him sleep talking.

“Gee. . . Stay with me.”  I hadn’t entered his dream yet, and didn’t really plan to tonight. But it was different now. I saw him clutching my picture frame.

I crawled into the small bed with him and snuggled close to him. I was always the big spoon, but wished to be the little spoon every once-in-a-while.

“I’m here, Frank,” I whispered. “Always.” I kissed his cheek. I closed my eyes and focused on his breathing pattern.

Bam. His dream became my surrounding. I was in skinny jeans, my old Converse, and a black long sleeved shirt. And of course I was wearing my star necklace. Frank was sitting on the couch. I saw the back of his head. He had a navy blue hoodie on and was leaning forward like he always does when he’s watching TV or reading a book. I sat next to him and hugged him from the side.

“Hey, Gee.” He smiled at me, turning away his attention from the book in his hand. The Perks of being a Wallflower. Nice.

I leaned my head on his shoulder. taking in his scent. I missed the scent of the happy him. He smelled like soap and coffee. But no matter what, even with the strong smell of cigarettes on him, Frank’s smell would always be familiar and comforting.

“Frankie,” I said in a serious tone. His green eyes looked directly into mine. “I need you to see me when you wake up.” His gaze fell.

He moved away from me. “You aren’t real.” Frank stood up now. “You’re just my mind playing tricks on me! It’s not going to work this time.” He closed his eyes. “Go away.”

“What? No. I’m really here, you just have to see. Please.” I pleaded.

“Stop it!” he screamed. "I can't take this anymore!" He clawed at his hair. I moved across the room to stop him, but he cut me off. "I said go away and I meant it."

            "Frankie, please-"

             "I SAID GO AWAY! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! YOU'RE JUST A MEMORY!"  I realized we were both crying.

I noticed the dream was getting fuzzier. We had only a matter of time before it was time to wake up. "One last thing," I whispered. "Don't get scared when I'm throwing things. The angrier I get, the more I can be noticed." Frank backed away. "I love you, Frank. I always have and always will." My voice, like the scenery, began to fade. "Even when you ignore me."

                One by one, the interior of the room disappeared until Frank was the only thing left to see.

And even his light burned out eventually.