It All Comes Out In Moron

We've lost someone.

This year on December 18, we lost a KPOP idol. Jonghyun, after a long fight with depression, lost the battle. 

I listened to this group a years ago, hanging with a friend and I loved their music. So when I heard that Jonghyun killed himself I was heartbroken. Depression is a horrible thing that not all people live through to see the end. Which is why I'm going to talk about it. I'm mainly talking about it because not that many people (that I know) know what it's like.

Depression is one of the most common mental health issues across the world, with people losing to the battle almost everyday. It feels different for other people but here's how I can describe it both mentally and physically.

Mental: It's like one day your standing on a dock in the dead center of the sea. And one day that dock gives away and  your drowning in anxiety and depression because you have a ball and chain wrapped around your ankle that's just pulling you down even more.

This is only a mental picture of what this is like.

Physically: for me it just felt... Numb. I was begging for myself to feel something. Anything. Pain or happiness I didn't care I just wanted to feel. I put myself through mental torture telling myself that I wasn't good enough.

Depression isn't a excuse, as much as some people would like to call it that. It's not. It's very real, and occasionally very hard to get through.

Jonghyun. You were a star lost to a horrible darkness. Your memory will not die out, it will remain alive and thriving.

If you feel depressed here's what helped me get through it.

Surround yourself by friends and family, or anything that brings you happiness. Because then you will realize that ball and chain around your ankle has a key to unlock it so you can swim up again. And you've been holding it the entire time. You just didn't realize it through the panic.

If you are in need of therapy

7cupsoftea is a good free therapy site

1-800-273-8255 is the national suicide prevention lifeline.

Do not give up. I know it's hard, believe me I do. But it gets better. It really does.

Keep fighting, because eventually you will win the battle. -Author

Jonghyun
1990-2017

May he rest in peace.