The story of us (finished)

Tell me why

(Warning:trigger and that's it)

Ashly's pov

When we finally get to the next hotel in st.louis, I get out car and go straight to my hotel room and locked my self in the bathroom. We'll be here for two weeks. we have a week off then we hace a meet and greet and a concert. I get on twitter, but I don't know why I know what's on there it's all hate. I log on and go to my news feed and all I see are: @ashlovesniall I don't know what Niall's see in you! Get a life Niall doesn't really love you!!, @ashlovesnaill you're just a fat ugly cow!! those are the ones that hurt the most. I'm a little bigger but I didn't think I was fat though, I eat a lot but that's what Niall tells me he loves about me, that I'm not afraid to eat.

I sit in the bathroom tub crying because maybe they were right what Niall doesn't love me the way I thought he did. I got up and went to my suitcase that I carried in with me. and start looking for my blade and the box of supplies I keep it in. I find the box at the bottom of my bag, in the box it contains; band aids, cream, anti bacteria wipes, and some germ-x at the very bottom there was a sock with a cool sliver blade in it. I have not cut in over a year, that's when Niall asked me out I didn't feel the pain in my broken heart for a awhile. I was almost happy, I haven't been happy in awhile.My family feel apart. My mum and dad got divorced when I was six. I went through emotional abuse at school for as long as I could remember. When I was sixteen I met this boy named jack, he would fill my head with ideas of that he loved me and then turn around and crush them to pieces. when he would get mad he would hit me I think that was my worst year of my life! I would cut everyday.lock my bathroom door so no one could walk in on me and cried myself to sleep. That was my life till one day jack was mad and he hit me at school, then all of the sudden this blond haired blue eyed boy walked up to Jack and punched Jack in the nose and said now you know how it feels so don't hit girls got me. Jack was to scared to mess with me again thank God! while I sit and cry I find myself asking the same questions over and over; why me?, what did I do to deserve this life?,and why can't I find someone to love me?