Trollpasta:Jeff's Boner

Chapter 1: Charm

Warning:
The tragedy you are about to witness contains the following:
Gory bathroom jokes, innuendos, blood violence, occasisonal errotica, intense, incredable violence, an orgy of cursing, poor spelloing, and the most atrotious writing you'll ever read. Content is not apporiate for anyone.
Viewer's discression is demanded.

Also note that both Spiderman and the symbiotes are owned by Marvel comics, Jeff the killer is created by Sesseur, Ben drowned is created by Alex Hall, and the rest of these characters are owned by their respective creators. I do not own anything.

My name is Zach Magmatodd the 234th and this Is my favorite dance on the citadel.

So one day I went out to go fishing with my father's uncle's 90 times removed cousin's son's brother's sister's roommate's friend, Ben Paddlewad. Then all of he sudden, the boat started shaking. Waves and currents of water splash onto the boat. And then I jizzed in my pants. And then we realized that there was a tall man chilling on this little  island in the the middle of he lake. He was bald and had no face. He also wore a tuxedo with blood and under-aged cum stains on it. Then, all of the sudden, I shouted "MUMMY GET THE CAMERA!!!" But then I realized that that jackass, Ben was here and not my mom. I died a little inside. Then I shouted "ZOMBIE! GET US THE MOST SWOOD OF GROMMET SWORDS!!!!" But then I realized that we weren't on a server. In fact, we weren't even playing minecraft. We were in real life. I pooped and peed in my pants at the same time. Now there's constapated diherrha and vomit-piss everywhere.

Then, all of the sudden, we realized that the tall faceless man was actually the fabled Slenderman...

Shit just got real...

We then soon realized we were kill...

As blood and cum leaked out of my mouth, and I lay on the floor, sometimes you can still here me whisper "...I call hacks..."

Meanwhile , the point of view and perceptive changes in the most lazy and abrupt way the braindead writer could cum up with...

A lone figure stood on a grassy field staring at the sunset. He had a white hoodie on. He wore black cargo pants and black high heels. He wore no shoes.

What? I never said he wore black high heels. You're crazy...

Anyways he also wore fishnet stockings, finger-less gloves, Twilight underwear, and smooth moves. He smelled. He smelled like a smelly smell that smeelled...smelly. he had long, black hair. He had hyperealissitc fish eyes that had no eyelids. And his mouth was cut into a permanent smile long ago in a time that no one remembers (probably because no one cared) he drank from a liquor bottle. It was beer. It tasted like the inside of the inside. It smelled like boar. This is Jeff the killer.

Once there was a serial killer who are as once feared all across America. He was big and strong and his eyes were flaming gold. Most people looked at him with terror and fear. But to teenage chicks, he was such a lovely dear. He could preach the necronomicon like a WOW nerd with passion and ectasy. But he was also the kind of teacher young girls would desire. Ja Ja Jeff the killer, mascot of Creepypasta. There was a cat that really was gone. Ja ja Jeff the killer, Creepypasta's greatest killing machine. It was a shame how he carried on. He ruled creepypasta land. Never you mind Slenderman. But Ticci Tobi he killed a lot. In all the creepypastas he was in. But he was real shit when a horny teenage girl wrote him. For the Slenderman's wife, he was no weeler dealer. Though she'd heard the things he'd done, she beleived he was a cleric, and that he would heal her son. Ja ja Jeff the killer, lover of Slendy's wife. There was a cat that really was gone. Ja ja Jeff the killer, Creepypasta's greatest killing machine, it was a shame how he carried on. 

But when his drinking, and killing, and drinking, and his hunger for power became known to more and more people, the demands to do something about this stupid man-child became louder and louder. Then he said he's gotta go, he's made his enemies. But the teenage girls begged "don't try to do it, please!"  Then one night, a beutiful pale girl in a black dress, whose name was Jane, came and struck him down. Now his mojo's gone... Oh those crazy, horny kids...