Journal; Nothing more and nothing less

Christmas af

I'm finally on break omg.

Aaaand I went back home.
Warning rant ahead.

It's nice that I don't have to worry about shopping, cooking, doing laundry etc. but I'm also reminded why I wanted to go to uni farther away from here, aside from just moving out.

#no.1mom
Yelling bc I took shower before dinner? Being mad at me for going back to my room after 4 hours of socializing with family? (It's still a lot considering how it looked before on daily basis) Reason? I'm spending too little time with them even tho it's christmas eve.
But maybe I would if she just stopped pointing out everything I done wrong or thought I'd sit there longer?
She's been making me want to cry for these two days I'm home.

And I should have known to not tell her about how sad I'm bc of Jonghyun... I felt horrible bc of the bad things she said. Maybe not bad, it's not a good word, but more like she didn't take into account my feelings, criticizing his actions. She didn't say it's stupid I cried but you could read it between the lines that's what she meant. Couldn't she just comfort me and keep everything to herself? Does she not see how hurt I am? And when I said that I don't want to talk about it anymore because I felt uncomfortable she said that I just probably don't have arguments to argue with her. Like what the actual fuck?

But what hurts me also a lot? That one time when she heard me crying at night because I felt unaccepted by her with my interests. She said it's not true and she doesn't have a problem with them, but now she's critiquing it and saying bad things in general while talkimg with me? It's not like she's having a conversations with someone else and overheard it, but just the two of us talk?
And if I ever ask if can not talk about my interests like that with me she says "But it's my opinion. What, now I don't even can have my own oponion? I can right?". I feel hopeless.

And she says I'm the one who's insensitive?

I wanna go back to my apartment in capital already ;-;
At least there's noone to judge me there.

#muchchristmasatmosphere

But there's one positive. I started to appreciate my dad more?? How could have I been so blind before??
Even tho he's mean and gets angry easily he's more understanding and caring in his own way?? And just in general he's pretty much always more on my side, covering me??

Shootout to my grandma for being lovely and giving me a lot of food ❤

Leaving my stay at home-

I.GOT.NEW.MEMORY.CARD.YESTERDAY

32GB NOT 8 LIKE BEFORE. I WAS SO HAPPY...
But now...

Error :')
I kri, it was perfectly fine before.
Formating doesn't help either kms.
Gotta get it changed in the shop.

Moving on. I bought SHINee album Married To The Music. I'm glad I found it cause it was half the original price so like #bestdeal