Beautiful

Chapter Twelve

February 1st 12:53 p.m.

Elle's House

Mullingar, Ireland

~Niall~

"Niall! Open the door, you twat!" Why the bloody... I groaned and rolled over finding the bed empty. "Niall Horan, I've been knocking for like ten minutes with a hang over and I'm ready to punch you in the face!"

I angrily got up, unlocked the bedroom door, grabbing my boxers from the floor and pulling them up my legs as I went. Elle's hallway was dark and I tripped over something on the way there.

I unlock the front door to find Zayn, his hands in his hair. "What time is it?" I grumble. "One in the afternoon. We're leaving in three days, management just called and made it official. We're doing a whole bunch of random junk in London. Three days as in early morning on the fourth."

"How'd you get here? Wait, where's Elle?" "I called her because I couldn't reach you. She's at work... She didn't tell you?" "She has a job?" "Yes... That ice cream parlor from... Are you on drugs? She told us at the parlor that she'd taken a break from working when her Mum died and was coming back today." I blinked. "I didn't... I wasn't..." Zayn shook his head. "Learn to pay attention, mate."

I shifted in the door. "So you came here to tell me out official leaning date?" "Yes. For a good reason. Can I come in?" I slowly opened the door and Zayn came in, heading into the living area automatically. I followed, annoyed by his 'make yourself at home' habit. We both sat on the couch, turned slightly to face one another.

"Niall... I don't know how to tell you this. But you need to realize that you're becoming more attached to Elle than you need to be." I frown, obviously annoyed. This was not where I thought this conversation was leading. I didn't have a clue to where, but not here. "I'm not attached to her." "That's such a lie. I've been here, what... A couple of days? All of us lads see how you look at her, how you speak to her."

The next minute was consumed by silence before I looked warily into Zayn's hazel eyes. "So?" "So...?" "What's it to you? I'm 'whipped', okay? I've got this big... Humongous need to be with Elle." "We're leaving. You can't possibly..." "She can come, can't she?" "No. Niall, no. All of us have girlfriends, except Harry, and we miss them terribly, but you don't see Perrie by my side. You don't see Sophia with Liam. You don't see Eleanor with Louis. It's how this goes, Niall."

Zayn didn't get it. I needed Elle. "I can't leave." "What?" "I-I can't." "You have to. You have a contract. You have to leave." "But-" "Niall. I know. I know this sucks, and I'm sorry. But that's why I'm here. You need to let go of Elle now, before you end up, like, sleeping together. Because only God knows how emotionally clingy you two will become then and-" "We already slept together," I said softly. He scrunched his brows. "A long time ago. That doesn't count, it-" "Last night." He stared at me. "No. You didn't. Elle told me this morning you haven't slept together." "Wait. You talked to her about this?" "I just asked how close you were." "And she... Didn't tell you we had sex last night? Even though you asked?"

Oh, no. She wanted to take it back. She thinks she made a mistake. She.... She regrets it.

"Niall, breathe. Please. Calm down." My breathing became heavier and I began to hyperventilate. Why was it so hot in here? Why were the walls closing in? "Niall?!" Zayn's voice got fainter. I heard the slamming of a door. Did he leave? "What's going... Zayn, what's wrong?" I heard her, Elle was here. That just made it worse. I was gasping for air now.

"Niall, please don't do this. No, Shhhh. It's okay, breathe. Don't have a panic attack, keep calm. Niall? Niall, I'm here? Always, yeah?" I tried to calm down, her voice the only thing I could hear, and even though my eyes were now closed, I knew she was here. I felt her hands on my wrists and my breathing slowed, shaky and hesitant. "That's it, babe. Shhh." I finally began to settle down and I felt Elle's weight in the seat beside me. She pulled me to her, and I rested my head on her shoulder, letting her play with my hair.

"It's okay, Niall. It's going to be okay." "What happened?" But I couldn't speak. I blanked off into unconsciousness.

~Flashback~

"Niall? What's wrong?" Elle asks, taking my hand in hers. My bags are beside us, ready for me to enter this stupid boot camp. A boy in a beanie darted by, looking nervous. I watched as he whipped around and ran back into the arms of a girl not much older than him, by the looks of it. I watched a guy with piercings hug a girl with piercings. I watched as a small girl hung onto the arms of an older lad. (Little did I know, the first and the latter were going to become two of my best mates.) I looked everywhere except at her. I didn't want to look at her.

"Niall?" "Where's Mum?" "She's running late like I just... Niall?" It was happening. Everything was getting smaller, my vision blurry. I'd had plenty. I was claustrophobic, my mind worked to panic when I was upset because it didn't happen often. "I want Mum," I mumble through ragged breathes. "Oh my God. Niall, no." I felt myself being pushed from the crowd. Good, I didn't want them to see me die.

My breathing wasn't even, it was breaking. I felt Elle's hands on my wrist like she always did when I had panic attacks. "Niall, shh. Mum will be here in a bit. Yours and mine, okay?" "I- Need- Stay." "I am staying. Look, I'm here, Niall. Look." I opened my eyes slightly. She was, she was here. Her light brown hair was braided. I'd done that. She had on a dress and sandals. She was a bit tan. She was wearing makeup. Elle was so happy.

My breathing returned to normal, watching Elle's eyes crinkle as she smiled. "Oh, Niall. Stop scaring me like that." She snaked her arms around me. I hugged back.

~End of Flashback~

February 1st 6:05 p.m.

Elle's House

Mullingar, Ireland

"Hey, beautiful." I knew that voice all too well. I'd grown up with it since we were merely in diapers. "Hey," I mumbled. "Are you okay? Do you want water? Do you need the emergency room?" What? Am in heaven?

I blink my eyes awake. Elle's hair is in a messy ball on top of her head. She's smiling at me. She's even wearing a tee instead of a sweater, my hoodie over it. "Elle?" "Hm?" "Where am I?" "My bed." "What time is it?" "Just turned six, I believe." "In the morning?" "No, baby. It's night."

And then I remember. It all comes crashing down. "You regret sleeping with me." She frowns. "What?" "You do. You didn't tell Zayn-" "It's not Zayn's business!" "But you said no! You lied!" Her face falls. "I..." "You didn't want anyone to know. Well, reality check," I said harshly, sitting up suddenly. It hurt my he's but I stared at her, angry as he stared back, shocked.

"Ni, don't-" "Don't what? Don't think like that? Don't repeat the damn truth!" She flinches. "We made love, Elle. That's what we did, and you warned me you didn't want it, but you were pretending it was to save me! It was to save yourself!"

There was a knock, and I nearly broke something. Why was everyone knocking and barging in?! This was about Elle and I! No one else. "Niall? Why're you yelling?!" Zayn's voice sounded through the door. "Go away!" "No. All of us are here and-" "Just leave!" I snarl. Elle's shaking now and I hate this. This is the second time I've been angry since I got back, but how was I supposed to control myself? I wasn't an angry person!

"Elle, love? Do you want to come out here? Is he hurting you?" How dare he talk to her like that?! "I-I'm good in here." "But is he hurting you?" "Yes," she whispers. All my anger is gone, replaced by guilt. My chest falls apart and aches. "Elle," I whisper. "Elle?! Is he-" "No. Go back in the living room, please," Elle says, her voice shaky.

"Elle," I beg, moving forward. She jumps from the bed. I watch in horror as she starts to cry. What? What do I do? I begin to panic again and... Why can't I control myself?! "N-Niall, rem-member. Breathe, p-please." I do that, and stand up. She backs away, but my movements are quick. I grasp her wrists. "Do it." I mumble. She nods and takes my wrists in her hands, shushing me. I close my eyes, ridding my vision of her face an the tears tumbling down it.