How I Feel - (A Chris Brown Love Story)

Casaulty of Love

                                        Mack Wilds - Art of fallin'

Cassie sprawled over her king size bed like an exhausted starfish. After breaking up with Derrick and losing her best and only friend, she mostly stayed in doors, gazing out her windows- watching time pass by-contemplating what surprises life had in store in the future for her.. She knew her sulking was immature and maybe even. a little melodramatic- but so what? Forgive her for actually believing that her and Derrick will be together forever and Libby and her will both play the role of maid of honour at each others weddings.

She tossed to her front, sat up and reached over to her bedside table for her collection of magazines. Why is my life so boring? She flipped over the pages one by one not even taking in it's content. Cassie eventually gave up with the magazine, then switched on the T.V. Her house was always quiet, but today the air seemed quieter than usual; it lacked Adrian's constant annoying brotherly behaviour- guess he got tired of staying in doors as well.

She flicked through channels - everything seemed to be romantic; couples kissing, couples talking about how they'd found their soulmate; couples holding hands by the beach...For fucks sake! Not everything is all "lovey dovey" for everyone- she thought. Wasn't there some special channel that offered endless ice-cream, alcohol and tissues for singletons who had just had their hearts broken? At this moment in her life, Cassie was a bit skeptical about love and it's existence. But she knew she wanted it.

Cassie wondered if she should spend the weekend actually reading the book that was assigned to her and Chris by Miss Hill- To Kill A Mockingbird. Maybe reading about someone else's life that was even more fucked up than hers, may make her feel better.

For some odd reason, she began to wonder what Chris was doing right now. She remembered how he wrapped his toned arms around her the other day, how she broke down to him, spilling out all the problems, how he'd handled the situation so well and was supportive. Chris had asked her to let him in to her "world", but did he really want to be burdened with all of Cassie's problems. He knew all the right things to say at the right moment- maybe it was a skill that he'd picked up over the years talking to girls and getting them into bed.

Something about Chris sent chills down her spine- good chills. He had this aura and energy that she'd never felt around her before, plus it also seemed as though he knew a lot about the world and it's implications. They'd agreed to be friends and Cassie was ok with that...for now. Maybe he wasn't just a Southside thug after all?

Suddenly, her phone began to vibrate aggressively from a corner in her room- where she had chucked it early because of the frustration of it being silent all day. Confused as to who would be calling her, she rushed over to it, looked at the caller I.D. A wave of excitement washed over her as she slid the answer button from left to right on her iPhone.

"Hello...Cassie?" His deep, softly silky voice called. Cassie stood there with her phone pressed to her ears like a lunatic, dreaming about the lips that these words escaped planting soft kisses on her neck to her lips, his tongue trailing down from her neck, then going in circular motion around her petite areola then finally resting on her nipple, to her belly button, then down to her...snap out of it! She would have flustered a deep red if her brown skin resembled a white tone. "Cassie? You there?" His voice attempted again.

"Mhmm...yeah I'm here. Hi Chris!" Cassie slapped the palm of her hand into her forehead, in punishment for sounding so excited. "I mean...hey." She tried again in a "not so bothered" tone.

"So are you busy today or nah?" Chris continued. Truth was Chris couldn't get Cassie out of his head. All night he had lain in bed thinking about making love to her. At some point, he even thought about the love faces they'd make if they got married. Weird right? The "player" was thinking about settling down in the future. But then Chris deemed this whole thinking about only one girl too much stress for his life. Then ended up laughing at himself, thought about the pool of girls he'd could have sex with if he wanted to and eventfully he trailed off to sleep.