Love Is War (One Direction FanFic)

Chapter 19- The Funeral

It was a few days later since I had found out, and I had gone home at night to get some sleep. The police had come by again to tell me that I needed a guardian to watch me till I was 18, and I was free to be on my own. Harry had offered since he had turned 18 a while ago, he was not my guardian till my dad got out of the hospital. The last few days were hard because I had to prepare my mom’s funeral and today was going to be the big day… I was nervous. 

I was getting ready to go early to help set up things at the funeral home, when Eleanor and Danielle walked in. “Hey Babe, you feeling any better?” Danielle asked me.

They had been so kind, they had been checking on me every single day and the night I found out they stayed with me for two days so Harry could pack up and move in here. I looked over at them and nodded a little bit nervous, “Yeah… Just nervous about today… I know it’s going to be hard. Considering my grandparents are both dead, and my mom only has one sister, that I’m not close with at all.”

They both watched me as I put my black dress on, and I started crying softly, I wiped my tears away trying to avoid their gazes. 

“You guys should go get ready; I’ll see you at the funeral.” I walked quickly past them; I didn’t want any hugs right now. They always made me more depressed; I walked out to the car and got in. I pull away and started driving towards the funeral home. I drove down the road; I looked around, remembering so many memories I had with my mom around here. I couldn’t believe she was gone… I took a deep breath and tried to save all my tears for later. I pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home, I looked at the doors. I rested my head on the steering wheel, and began to sob. “I miss you so much Mommy…” I whispered.

I quickly wiped away my tears and got out of the car; I looked at my watch, only 1 more hour till the funeral I thought. I walked into the building and met up with the person in charge. “So, Sam, you do remember you need to do the body checking right?” 

I looked at the person surprised, the body checking? Shit… I had completely forgotten I thought. This was going to be hard. I wished I wasn’t alone right now; I nodded and followed her into a room. I saw a casket. I just stared at it, I couldn’t look. But I knew I had too, the woman had left me alone to fend for myself, and she had closed the doors behind her.  I couldn’t look at my Mom that was too scary.

I heard the doors open, I took a deep breath. “Sam?” It was Harry of course. “Do you want me to do this with you?”  I nodded in silence, he knew me so well. He came over and wrapped his arms around me; I knew I could do it now. I walked over slowly, taking deep breaths each step of the way. I finally made it over, I shut my eyes, and I couldn’t look. I put my face in Harry’s shirt. “Babe, you need to look.” 

I shook my head fast, “No, I can’t. It feels so wrong.”

“She looks like she’s sleeping.” He said quietly. “Peaceful.”

I shivered; I finally managed to take a peek and was surprised. She did look like she was sleeping; I stared at her for what felt like forever, I touched her cheek and drew it back fast. She was so cold… “Okay, can we please leave now?” I said quickly. 

Before Harry could answer I walked out and sat on one of the chairs, he came over and sat beside me. “Sam, you know, your mom is watching you right now. Technically she’s here. She’s just not here, here. But she’s here with you.” 

He always knew what to say to me, I loved that about him. He was amazing, I looked at the clock it was 3, and people would start arriving now, since the funeral started at 3:15. I heard people come in; I got up and walked hand in hand with Harry to the door. I saw Danielle and her parents come in. I went over and greeted them; Dani’s mom and dad gave me a big hug and said they were so sorry about my mom. I nodded feeling slightly uncomfortable. More people started arriving, such as my mom’s friends, close family friends, my friends, and her sister. 

Everyone was gathered in the room, I went on in and then the Pastor started talking. It felt awkward,; Niall and Harry were sitting beside me, that was okay though. I needed them both. They both placed their hands on mine. I continued listening to the pastor. I wanted to cry, soon enough I did. Soon enough it was my turn to go up and speak my part. 

“Hello everyone,” I said, I looked at everyone in the room, everyone was crying. I struggled not to cry, I wanted to be strong. “Thank you all for coming… I realize this has all been a huge shock for you. It was a huge shock for me, when I found out. My mom was an amazing person, I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better Mom. She was always there for me when I needed her most. I remember when my Grandma passed away when I was little, she was there for me, and she always told me that, my Grandma was my guardian angel. Well today Harry over here, made me realize that my Mom is now my guardian angel, and she will always be with me whenever I need her…” I looked at the floor and began to let the tears fall, “I love you Mommy…” I whispered. I looked up to see everyone watching me, “I’m sorry I can’t do this.” I ran down the aisle and out of the building. 

I couldn’t handle this; I got in my car fast. I needed to go to the hospital, right now. I needed to see my Daddy. I drove away, I looked back to see Harry and Niall watching me leave, Niall threw his hands on his head, while Harry turned to him and just led him back in the building. 

I arrived at the hospital a few moments later; I got out of the car quickly and ran inside to my Dad’s room. I saw he just looked weaker, skinnier. I heard the doctor come in, “Oh, Sam! What a surprise, I thought you had your mom’s funeral today.”

“I did, I actually just left the building in the middle of my speech… I couldn’t do it anymore…” I sat on a chair and put my face in my hands. The Dr.Peneva came and sat beside me and started rubbing my back.

“You know Sam, your Mom would’ve wanted you to stay strong through all of this.” 

“I know, it’s just I can’t. I mean my Dad is in coma still and is pretty much only alive because of these stupid machines, and its December tomorrow, which mean’s Christmas soon. You know how depressing that is going to be for me?!”

She looked at me calmly, and got up, “I know sweetie, I know, but I have a good feeling your friends will help you make it a good one. Your friends are pretty some amazing friends, you’re lucky to have them. Especially Niall and Harry, they have both been trying to do as much as they can for you. They both really love you.”

I stared at her, “I know… I’m glad I have them. I love them so much, I honestly don’t know where I’d be if I didn't have them by my side right now. Hey, can I ask you something? Is my Dad improving at all…?” 

She shook her head no, “I’m afraid not hun, we’re honestly trying as much as we can. We won’t give up.”

I nodded and then walked out of the room and decided to just head home.

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Tomorrow will be better!