petals fall (a modern beauty and the beast retelling) discontinued

Chapter seventeen

The Beast

I drugged her food. She had no idea. She became sleepy and went to bed early.  I hadn't truly expected her to come to dinner, I had hoped against hope. And she did. I creep up the stairs though I know she won't hear me. My padded paws make no noise but my weight causes the stairs to creak. The door to her room is closed but i can still see the holes my fists made. I can see I go her room. Looking around me just to make sure no one is watching I open the door and slip in shutting it behind me. Of course the danger isn't passed yet. I imagine the hammer and it appears in my hand. Or paw I should say. I Tap lightly where the wood splinters. Something fleshy and thin begins to stretch over each hole where I had tapped it. The rubbery thing covers the hole but it's still see through, like a balloon. I tap it once more very lightly, and it thickens and hardens untilyiu could never tell there was a hole there in the first place. 

I put the hammer down carefully and turn to the girl. She is asleep. I creep up to her and stare at her. Why is it that she is so... kind. Sure not to me but her father, she traded her life for his. I am curious, I want to figure it out. That's not why I drugged her though. I want to put her back in her cell. She makes me nervous. She must be dangerous. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps though. I want to destroy something. I don't know why the temptation come over me but it did so I turn and plung my fists into the nearest object. The floor. Immediatly I fix it up with the hammer which I drop on the ground before I run from the room. I leave the door swinging open and run out to my gardens. I say their mine but I never tend for them, yet somehow they never get full of weeds or overgrown. I suspect it's the servants that do it. 

I slam my fist into a tree. It comes away bloody, the blood costs my fur. I hate my fur. I slump against the tree for a moment. The bark is scratchy but I barely feel it through all my thick fur. After a minute of hard breathing I pull myself up to go try something I've tried many times. I leap. I land hard on the fourth floor window. After climbing in I stand once more over my bathroom sink. I lift the razor with trembling hands. It's cool and rubbery I know but I can barely feel it.  Watching myself in the mirror I carefully drag it along my arm. The fur cuts away. I hold my breath, did it actually work this time? But the hair grows back longer than ever. I crush the razed between my finger letting the anger grab ahold of once again, just as it has for all my years.