The Search ➳ Merthur

chapter five

how am I at chapter five already like I dun believe it

have I mentioned I love morgana because I do and goodsister!morgana literally kills me

I think this is an important chapter in Arthur's character building (btws he's completely and utterly besotted)

-

Ripped out from under me, again! Arthur thought. Currently, he was pacing in his chambers, furious that he had almost caught the sorcerer once again. Every single time he got close, his attempts would be flicked away by Emrys, as if Arthur was simply a pawn in his game. It drove him mad, because what would it possibly take to catch this man? If he had to raise an army from the dead, he would, if it meant he could see Emrys at his knees in front of him.

He kicked a chair to the ground, and it made him feel good, as if he was in control of the things he did in his life. Following it, he picked up the parchments on his table, ripped them up, and threw them in the air. The effect was instantaneous,—a light flutter in the pit of his stomach, similar to that of hunger—and Arthur suddenly had the desire to throw his chalice at the wall; so he did. He continued to tear apart his room piece by piece, by pulling the linens from the bed and having them scatter the floor, ripping the bed hangings from their place, throwing glass ornaments at the wall. It felt like it never had to end, he was in control and what he said would go, no matter what. He was king. He was king.

Abruptly, Arthur was pulled from his stupor by a hand on his arm, tugging him from his seething anger. He turned to look at who it was an found the concerned face of his sister, Morgana. Still angry, he tried to pull his arm away, but she wouldn't let go. It forced him to face her, and he was surprised to see her looking straight at him, rather than at the mess he had made.

"Arthur... what are you doing?" She asked, softly. She stared up at him, and Arthur couldn't refrain from looking at her eyes; the same as his. They had inherited them from their father, but otherwise it was the only physical trait they shared. While Arthur had tanned skin and golden hair, Morgana was pale with hair that could be compared to the dark of night. It was a wonder they were related at all, but all Arthur knew was that Morgana had been there for him through everything, and he wouldn't have been able to survive without her. Even if they hadn't been related by blood, he would accept her as his sister with no matter.

It was then that Arthur found himself beginning to cry, with ugly tears falling down his cheeks. He let himself be pulled into an embrace, and Morgana wrapped her arms around him as he pressed his head into her shoulder. Drawing in a shaky breath, he heard himself emit a loud sob as Morgana rubbed comforting hands up and down his back. It continued like this for an extended period of time, with Arthur sniffling at times in between. Once he had calmed down enough, he pulled away and stood on shaky legs. Morgana rested her hands on his upper arms, stroking up and down to support him.

"Now, do you want to tell me what happened?" Morgana tried. Arthur shook his head, looking down at his feet and mumbling incoherent words. Morgana sighed, "Arthur, please? I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on." Arthur looked up at her again, and gave in after seeing how her eyes were slightly widened and her lips were parted. The fact that she honestly cared for him made him feel a bit better, but it wasn't enough to bring him back to normal.

"I... Emrys... can't find... frustrated..." He muttered, and Morgana looked at him with knowing eyes. He had been searching for a Emrys for months, and each time he had been so close to catching him, the sorcerer got away. It had to get someone frustrated after a while, that they couldn't accomplish a simple task. He had been working hard at this because he was passionate about it, to bring safety to his kingdom. Sorcery was dangerous, and as king, Arthur was looked up to in order to stop it. Since he hadn't been able to do it, he feared the people would lose their respect in him, that they would think he was a useless king.