FEELING

21

Jessica POV

I look around then I realized where am I. I'm in the cafe with Krystal, we just done our piano and vocal lessons and waiting for our parents to take us somewhere special since it's a special day today. Like always we chit chat the girls thing until I heard a loud crash outside the window. It's an accident between two cars at the conjunction. The car move towards where we sitting but stop a few inches before us. I close my eyes ready for the impact.

"Mom, dad!" I heard Krystal scream made me open the eyes. There were our family car and unknown car right in front of us. Others customers already run away. I blink my eyes disbelief then slowly walk to our car. Our parents in there with eyes close, blood dripping from their head.

"Nooo!!" I breathe heavily as I woke up. I take a look, I'm no longer at the cafe but on the bed surround by white wall and a wire tangled into my arm.

"Sica noona, you awake. I'll call the doctor." Jungkook, one of my cousin friend walk out. I'm still recall what happened and where am I. After a few second, he walk in with the doctor.

"Finally you awake after three days unconscious. You fine now. You had an accident and your back bone hit the car also you lost a lot of blood but now everything is okay. I think you can be discharged in another two day." Say the doctor.

"Can I discharged now? I need to meet my grandpa immediately." I ask. I remember that I got a call from grandpa that day.

"But you still have to rest." Say the doctor before leave the room. I stare to the white ceiling.

"Why you here? Where's Krystal? Is she safe?" I ask him that seat on the sofa. He's playing with his phone and he's younger than me.

"Erm, I skip my class that why I'm here and she's fine. She.. She at the memorial." He say then slip back his phone into his pocket.

"What? Why?" I ask worry.

"Erm, I'm really sorry but.. Your grandpa.. Already.. Gone." He say slowly. My eyes widen. No way. I pull the wire around my arm then get down from the bed. I look around then find my school uniform that I wear during that day. I take it and get ready to change.

"Where are you going?" He ask worry made me realize he still in here.

"To them." Simply I answer him.

"But you need to rest." He say.

"My grandpa are dead and you want me to rest? No way. I'm going to him right now! Just help me discharged today." I shout angrily at him. He look a little bit scare then leave the room as I still glaring at him. Right after he left the room, I change my clothes then walk out of the room with all my stuff. We take a cab since he didn't get his driving license yet.

I stop my step in front of the room. There I saw Krystal in black dress crying hardly looking at grandpa picture. Slowly I continue walking then seat beside her. She still not realize my presence. I give her a hug then she look at me surprise.

"Jess, you here and you alive." She say as she hug me back.

"Grandpa, he's gone forever. I can't believe that he's gone like mom and dad. Why did they leave us? Why they didn't bring us with them?" She look at me. Tears still streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes puffy and red.

"If you follow then who going to accompany me in this harsh world?" I ask trying to hold my tears not to fall in front of her.

"But you almost leave me too. I thought you will never awake. I thought I'll be alone." She say.

"I'm sorry. I'll never leave you alone." I wipe her tears but it useless. She keep crying.

"Jess, you here." Uncle say in surprise. I let go of the hug.

"Uncle, aunty. I'm sorry, I'm late." I say slowly.

"It's okay. You awake is more important than late." Aunty come and give me a hug. I smile weakly to them.

"Jess, come with me." Say uncle then he lead me graveyard.

"Here is your grandpa now. Along with grandma and your parents. I'll leave you alone." He stop at one of the grave. I knee in front of it, reading the name on it.

"Grandpa, I'm sorry. I'm late again. I always late when you call for me. I.. I.. I don't know what to say even though I have a lot to talk with you. I just want to thank you for taking care of us after mom and dad leave us. You're such a good parents for me. I'll miss you." I say with sobbing. I stare at the grave.

"Grandma, mom, dad. Sorry it's been a long time I didn't visit you guys. I just miss you guys a lot and.. I have many things to share with you." I say as look at their grave. I sit there for a while. It have been two years since my last visit.

"I'll take care of Krystal now." I say before walking back to the hall.

"Hey, heard you run away from hospital?" J-Hope ask as we bump into each other at the entrance. It must be Jungkook told him. I just nod and smile.

"You know sometimes you should let it out. I mean it's okay to cry." He tap my shoulder then walk towards their car. I just look his family disappear.

"Let's go home." I slowly pull Krystal away towards our car. She really close to grandpa. As soon we arrive home, I push her into her room.

"Stop crying for today. You should rest." I pull the blanket to cover her up. I sang a soft song to make her fall asleep. I have stop singing since my parents dead because wherever I start singing, it's remind me of my mom.

After made sure she's asleep, I decide to refresh my mind by walking around the neighborhood. I stop in front of the usual swing then stare to the sky.

"Can I seat?" Someone ask made me look beside me. It's Luhan. I just nod.

"Are you okay? We heard about your grandpa." He say concern. That why I keep hearing some message from my phone.

"It's okay to cry." He say again. I keep hearing that words today. Am I to gloomy?

"I'm a disgraceful kid actually. We always fight. At first he really disagree about me driving bike but as usual I be stubborn. I didn't say sorry or thank him yet. I only cause trouble to him. I.. I just want to apologize for all my behaves." I cry for the first time in two years and it is in front of the other. I cry all out until I feel a warm embrace around me.