Philophobia: A GerIta story

Chapter 11: Ludwig

Its been two weeks since I went to church with everyone, and it felt...really good to go back. I'm not a super religous person, but I'm not atheist you know? I still believe in God and Heaven and Hell and such, I just don't pray every day or read the Bible like Feliciano and Gilbert do. 

I've started to go out more with Gilbert and Matthew, which often end in going to Feli and Lovino's cafe, and as happy I am that I'm starting to gain more bravery, I'm starting to regret it.

Why? It's because I'm starting to really like Feli...like really like.

I shouldn't feel like this for him, it's dangerous, horrifying, and can only end in pain.

But...Feli could never hurt me.

His past is like mine, but that scares me because Feli is like just me...damaged.

"Hey Lud? I have a small request..." Gilbert says, walking to the living room, where Matthew and I are doing some online shopping for the service dog Matthew will be getting in a month (his doctor finally signed off on it, the dog is a one year old rottweiler Matthew is naming Padfoot). 

I look up, hair freshly washed and clean clothes on my body, "yes?" He shifts uncomfortably, holding his phone to his side.

"Well...Antonio and Lovino need to go to Spain to see Antonio's father, who is in the hospital and isn't likely to survive much longer..." he trails off, looking down at his phone, "but Feli can't go and he needs somewhere to go...so I invited him to stay here since he's most comfortable around you...but I obviously need your premission, if not he can stay with Francis and Arthur-"

"He can come..."

The words shock all three of us, but I don't take them back. I don't look at them in the eyes, but I see Gilbert smile, putting the phone up to his ear. 

"He said it's okay! Alright so..." he looks back at me, "Lud may I tell Lovino and Antonio your address? If not they can meet me somewhere and I'm go get him in about two hours."

I think about those two. Lovino, who has warmed up to me, and Antonio, my brothers best friend since they can kids.

"Yeah, it's okay." 

He smiles, "okay so you go down Highway 99..." he trails off, walking back to the front room, where he sometimes works when neither Matthew nor I are.

A gently hand is placed on my shoulder, "I'm so proud of you Lud, we've had Feli stay with a few times, he's a joy to have, and he'll love to help you bake if you help him out, since it's not in braile." Mattthew's smile is soft, I manage a small smile back.

My smile falls, "wait...braile?" He nods, looking a bit confused.

"Yes, it's where-" "I-I know what it is...but...do you think we could label stuff? In braile I mean...I can look up how to do it and-" "Ludwig."

I stop, looking at Matthew.

I expected some kind of anger by the use of my full first name, but there is none to be seen...just shock and pure joy.

"I don't know if anyone has thought to do that for him...he knew Lovino and Antonio's house and the cafe like the back of his hand so it wasn't needed...but..." his eyes widen, "the hot glue guns, you have a few right? For your art projects?" I nod, "we can look up what the words are online, oh Lud do you know how happy this will make Feli?"