Possibility (Gilbert Blythe)

Chapter thirteen

I remember reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. It did not sit with me the first two reads, but as I dived into the book for the third time, I remember becoming utterly upset about Victor's creation ultimately becoming the monster like society had deemed him to be. It would not have mattered if the monster had acted with kindness to the humans around because in the eye of the public he was a horrific monster. They judged him by the exterior, for what he was. He was not a part of society because of how different he was.

I had hurt my feelings when I compared myself to the monster. It was not because I believed myself as one, but I felt society treat me as such. In the eyes of the public, I was a filthy orphan, a complete outcast, and a disgrace to society. However, I witnessed such horrific actions happen to others in society that I cannot truly complain about my treatment; but I did deem it discomforting and I certainly did not understand.

It seemed to be a mutual feeling amongst the other children at the orphanage. I remember I offered advice on how no one will ever judge them once they had received an opportunity to become a part of a family. They would be children again, not orphans and if they held on to that little piece of light, everything would be okay in the end. How wrong and naive I was reader, to ever believe that society would ever treat the outcast as an equal, even if your position heightens. You are still the orphan; you are still the newcomer that is infecting the ranks.

My evidence to support my claim came rather quickly after I became a Cuthbert and was told that school was ahead. I did not attend school the first day, as it had not been long since I arrived, and I needed time to adapt to the new circumstances. How many times did Marilla tell me to not head for the barn the first thing in the morning? Or to choose words that sounded less peculiar? It was difficult to break from the previous role that I had had for so long, so I was given an extra day.

Anne however, needed to attend the first school day and was not particularly fond of the idea of going alone. During breakfast, she had spent a great deal of time pondering over every exterior fault about herself, but it quickly gave away as the hour was up and she headed to school. As the afternoon arrived, she came back. Rachel and Marilla had been bickering on in the kitchen, and I had taken refuge in my bedroom, going through yet another novel I must have read a few times before. It was a lovely afternoon, the sun hung low, and the leaves had turned. I felt nervous, but also enthusiastic for school and was thrilled when I heard Anne's voice speak with enjoyment. My feet shuffled onto the floor as I heard her footsteps come closer to the hall.

She opened her bedroom door and hurried inside. I frowned and got curious as to why she did not knock on my own door, so I headed out into the hall and knocked lightly on hers. "Come in," She said rather low. As I entered, her figure was slumped over a slate in her hand. To my eyes she looked sad, and not as excited as she had sounded to Marilla downstairs, so I took it upon myself to pry.

"You alright there? It seemed as if you told half a truth to Marilla" I sat down on her chair, and she looked up from the slate.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop" she snapped sorrowfully and laid down.

"I'm sorry it wasn't my intention. I overheard the thrill in your voice" I said back and furrowed my eyebrows. She sighed and sat up; a tiny smile broke through her sad expression.

"Sorry I snapped at you. I'm in such a foul mood. The school was a lot harder than I had imagined" She peaked at her slate again and I fought the pit in my stomach that was now beginning to form.

"I'm sure it'll be better tomorrow, once you've adjusted," I told her.

"But it's not just that! It was like I didn't fit in as they had already judged me fully by the time I entered" She raised her voice and shoved her slate in my face.