Tony's panic attacks

Do I jump or shoot? *mentions suicide*

this story mentions suicide. please, if you're sensitive to this stuff, don't read. please.

Tony looked out over the city. he sat on the roof of Avengers tower. a gun in one hand, a bottle of whiskey in the other. he'd had it, he'd finally had it. he couldn't take it anymore. the nightmares, the panic attacks, the pity stares. he just couldn't take them anymore. he took another drink of the whiskey. no one was going to miss him, sure they'd miss Ironman, but they wouldn't miss Tony. he heard the door open but didn't turn.

"Tony?" Bruce ask. there was caution in his voice. "I woke up. you weren't there. Jarvis said you were up here.... are you okay?" Bruce ask carefully.

"go away." Tony replied. Bruce's eye's went to the gun in Tony's hand.

"no. I don't think I want to go anywhere." Bruce said. he walked closer. "you look like you need some help." Bruce said. Tony huffed and took another drink.

"just go away Bruce. I don't want you to see me do this." Tony said.

"and I won't , because you're not going to do anything." Bruce said. "lets talk okay?" Bruce added.

"for once I couldn't decide something." Tony said.

"couldn't decide what?" Bruce ask, looking at Tony. Tony looked at the gun, moving it away from Bruce.

"how to do this. do I want to jump or shoot myself. still haven't decided." Tony said. he took another drink. "but the whiskey is kinda making me want to jump." Tony said looking down.

"okay, you want to jump... so.... give me the gun." Bruce said. Tony shook his head pulling the gun away from him quickly.

"no. I still haven't decided." Tony said.

"then step back here with me, we'll discuss it." Bruce said. Tony looked down at the ground.

"if I jump, do you think they'll think it was an Ironman experiment gone wrong?" Tony ask.

"Tony step away from the edge." Bruce said.

"what if I do both?" Tony ask. he stood from his seated position, looking down. "I could shoot myself and let myself fall off the building." Tony said.

"Tony, wait, please. let's talk okay?" Bruce ask. "you don't have to do this." Bruce said. Tony looked at him, his face was covered in tears.

"yes I do. I have to Bruce. I'm so tired of everything. I have to do it." Tony said, taking a step towards the edge. Bruce grabbed him and pulled him back, quickly.

"no. lets talk about this. please?" Bruce ask. Tony took another drink and watched Bruce.

"talk about what? my suicidal thoughts? cause I don't want to talk about those. I've been seeing a therapist for a few months now. he says that my suicidal thoughts are unnecessary. that I'm just depressed and I need to think it over. he was right. I did need to think it over. never would've come to the conclusion that I really did need to kill myself if he hadn't said it. I've thought it over, I need to do this." Tony said. "besides your names on the business now. I put it on there about a month ago when I started planning this. you'll never have to run and hide and do with what little you can get your hands on again. you'll move on, so will the others. no one will miss Tony Stark. they'll just miss Ironman." Tony added. he looked at the gun.

"no, you really don't need to do this." Bruce said. Tony snorted.

"aren't you the guy who didn't see an end? the one who put the bullet in his mouth? the one who was so upset when the other guy spit it out?" Tony ask, looking at the gun. how had they not noticed this behavior in Tony?