Off the Deep End

The Calm before the Storm

Chapter 6

I lie in bed, trying to sleep. But I can't. My heart and mind are racing. I can't stop thinking about Mags, my kiss with Finnick, my fight with Atlas. Nothing could prepare me for that.

Mags is honestly the closest person to me in all of Panem and I'm about to lose her. Luckily, if she is recieving medical care, it's a lot better than it would've been in District 4. But regardless, I may never see her again. Now that Snow may know about me and Finnick, I am as good as dead. So is Finn.

Finnick has been my best friend since we were little kids. I always knew that he would have a place in my heart, but I never expected to fall in love with him. Kissing him made me realize how much I love him, but it also broke my heart. Finnick kissed me then left. Atlas believes that he is having sex with Capitol women. Sadly, I think I believe him. It makes sense. He is never here at night. He comes back late in the day. I pray that Atlas is wrong.

I want to think that Atlas said what he did to cause me to hate Finnick. Everything about him makes sense now too. He hates Finn because of me. I have never loved Atlas the way he loves me. I have always considered him nothing more than a friend. I want to kill him. I really do. But I can't bear the thought of him dying either.

My back is to the door as I hear it open. My blood runs cold and my hair stands up on the back of my neck. I feel someone sit on the end of the bed and then silence envelopes the room. I hear whoever this person is sigh and I can tell they've crying. I sit up and act like this stranger woke me up.

"Annie?"

"Finn? Are you okay?" I recognize his voice and relax.

"I-I didn't mean to wake you. I'm sorry."

"What are you doing?"

"I wanted to tell you that Mags is okay. She survived the surgery, but she won't be able to come home with us. . or. . me, after the Games for a while."

"Oh." I say. I look at him carefully. "Finn. . .why do you keep leaving me?"

"Annie, I-"

"Finnick Odair, you can tell me. Who am I gonna tell? I go into the Arena tomorrow." Finnick takes a deep breath and places his hand on mine. He avoids looking at me as long as possible.

"It's not that I want to leave you. It's mainly that I have to. Snow has forced me and other Victors to do destestable things." He bows his head. "Me especially."

"Finnick. . ." I start. I know where he's going with this. Atlas was right. He has been sleeping with Capitol women, not willingly. He's only 19. He shouldn't be dealing with this. "How long has me made you. . ."

"For the last two years, I've had to do this. I want out, Annie. There are nights that I really wish that I had died in the Arena. There are nights that I wish that I had never been Reaped because then I could have a family and I'd have something to offer them other than a life of secrecy."

"Have you told anybody about this?" I ask, clenching his hand tightly.

"Let me answer you with a question." Finn is now on the verge of rage. "When was the last time you saw my parents?" I know exactly the answer. It was 2 years ago. Right before all of this started.

"Snow had your parents killed, didn't he?"

"You and Mags are all I have left. I don't know if you are safe, but I do know that he can't kill someone who already has a death sentence hanging over them." He looks at me fearfully. "I want to be with you, Annie Cresta. Snow won't let that happen. Not now, not ever."

"If I make it out of the Arena, we'll make it work somehow. I promise." I assure him. He leans towards me, kissing me passionately. I don't stop him this time. This is a moment I may never have again, and I don't want it to go away. I feel his hands slowly making their way down my back as he caresses me. Everything is a blur, but this passionate intimacy is unforgettable. It seems almost like a dream. I slowly pull away from his embrace, his bare chest against mine, his sea-green eyes relaxed.

"Marry me." He says in almost a whisper.

"What?"

"Marry me, Annie. We could do it in secret. Nobody would know but us."

"If I make it out of the Arena. . .I will." I say, kissing him again. Finnick smiles, laying next to me. His strong arms are a safe haven, a place that I don't want to leave.

Not now. Not Ever.