Your voice (completed)[under editing]

1. Chris

My life has always been a challenge. I can't hear anything but strangely I can still hear my own voice out loud. It's something that not even the doctors can explain. So I'm forever just left without an answer as to why I can only hear my own voice and no one else's. But why? Whats the point?

I wasn't always deaf. It all started 5 months ago when I was in a bad car accident that I'm lucky I actually came out alive of . But it wasn't just me in the car. I was in the car with my best friend Tony and my girlfriend Jess. Everything happened so fast. One minute we were driving home in the dark having fun and laughing. The next minute the car was spinning out of control before it flipped and rolled down into a small ditch. The next day I woke up in the hospital where I was told that both Tony and Jess had passed away. And when I say "I was told" I mean  it was given to me on a pice of paper. The nurse had written all of it down on a piece of paper and had given it to me to read. It was the only way to communicate with me and still is. No matter how hard I try I just don't understand sign language. It's just too hard.

Ever since the accident I haven't been myself. No matter how hard I try I just don't know what being myself is anymore. My parents are forever telling me that their worried about me and think that I should get help but I always refuse to see anyone. I just don't see how there supposed to help.

So in my free time I go on long walks by myself. I go on the same walk everyday. I always walk to the same ditch that changed my life, that was the cause of my best friend and girlfriends death. Then I just stand there staring for a few minutes, unable to move. Then I close my eyes and I'm taken back to the accident. Seeing the fear in their eyes, hearing there screams until everything goes black again and I open my eyes again. Back to reality.

High schools different now I no longer see any of my other friend. At the start they always wanted to meet up and go out and have fun and let it all go but I just never felt up to it. They missed both Tony and Jess very much but they weren't in the car with them that night. Nobody knew what I saw that day so no one could help. So instead I spend most of my time alone. I like it better that way. That way I won't have to lose anyone else. I wont let it happen again. I can't risk it.

It's easy to push most people away you just simply have to show them your not interested or at least that's what I thought before I met HER.