A Ca-Voltron (Pitch Perfect AU)

Bus Trip (Chapter 16)

The Voltron bus pulled into a really old gas station, as Hunk climbed out of the driver's chair. "Okay, don't you flat-butts worry, I got this," he grinned. "I'm just gonna pump and dump."

Another bus, a dark purple one, roared by, much fancier that its Altean University counterpart.

"I don't care what you say," Lotor chuckled to the other Galra members inside. "Sisqo live, best performance ever, I've ever seen. 'Thong Song' isn't his only hit. Yeah. All right? That's serious."

"Hey, Lotor, is that Hunk?" Ezor asked as she pointed out the window.

Lotor lit up. "Zarkon, slow down! Slow down!"

"Yeah! All right!" Zethrid shouted in agreement. Lotor slid the window open.

"Hey, Hunk?!" Lotor called. "Sabotage!"

Hunk took the green food goo right to his chest. He fell back, leaning against the bus for support. "I've been shot," he groaned. "I've just been shot! Help me."

"Hunk!" Pidge called as he and Lance sprinted out. "Guys! They shot Amy!"

"Oh, shit. Lotor threw a big-ass burrito at me," Hunk cried as Keith joined them outside. When Keith heard this he stared at the disappearing bus, fuming. How he hated the vile Galra.

"I'm gonna kill him, I swear," Hunk roared, surprising the others yet again. "I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake."

"You've got yourself a little something there," Keith pointed out.

"Just leave it," Hunk hissed. "It fuels my hate fire."

Everybody sat in their spots. Allura sat quietly, Shiro was mentally rehearsing, listening to songs through his earbuds. Pidge was doing homework, Lance was getting into a video game, and Keith stared at his hands or out the window as his mind wondered.

"~I hopped off the plane at LAX, with my dream and my cardigan," Shiro sang. "Welcome to the land of--"

"~Fame excess," Pidge joined with a smile. "Am I gonna fit in?"

"~I jumped in my cab, here I am for the first time, look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign, this is all so crazy, everybody seems so famous!" One by one, Hunk and all the others joined in except for Keith.

"~My tummy's turnin' and I'm feeling kinda homesick, too much pressure and I'm nervous. That's when the taxi man turned on the radio, and a Jay-Z song was on."

They all started leaning towards Keith, who rolled his eyes and realized what they were trying to do. "Oh, my God," Keith muttered with a small smile.

"~And a Jay-Z song was on, and a Jay-Z song was on!" They all looked at Keith expectantly.

Keith gave them a smile. "~So I put my hands up! They're playing my song! The butterflies fly away! Nodding my head like, yeah! Moving my hips like, yeah! I put my hands up! They're playing my song! I know I'm going to be okay! Yeah, yeah, yeah! "It's a party in the USA! Yeah, yeah, yeah..."

Their voices dwindled as the bus began groaning and slowing down.

"It's a... It's... Oh," Hunk mumbled.

"What the hell?" Allura demanded.

"Um... It's pretty cool, actually," Hunk stammered. "I think we're just running out of gas."

"No, that can't be. You just filled the tank," Pidge explained.

"Yeah, I did," Hunk agreed, thinking back. "And, yet, maybe I didn't, because I got hit by flying Mexican food... And we're out."

"Aca-scuse me?" Allura gasped.

"Aca-believe it," Hunk grumbled back.

"Man, what are we gonna do?" Lance asked.

"Maybe we could call..."

"No, don't even say it, Pidge. How dare you?" Allura growled.

"Oh, no, actually that is a really good idea. I've got Lotor's number," Keith muttered as he pulled out his phone.

"Why do you have Lotor's number?" Shiro demanded.

"Uh... no clue, but I'm pretty sure the perv put it in my phone when I wasn't looking at initiation night."

--

The Galra sat on one side of their bus. The outnumbered Voltron paladins sat awkwardly on the other side.

"So, paladins," Lotor mused. "What boring, estrogen-filled set have you prepared for us this evening?"

"Excuse me?" Hunk grumbled. "But you guys are gonna get
pitch-slapped so hard your man boobs are gonna concave."

"Nine miles, guys," Sendak announced.