I have no clue whats happening with this chapter I'm so sorry with the difficulties idk why its not working.
Its been a week since the whole thing with Ethan and Grayson and they still weren't talking, neither were me and Ethan. Ethan now sits at their old seat with the jocks and gray still sits with us. It hurts still I feel like my pain will never go away, I wanted Ethan but unfortunately he didn't want me.
I sighed and put my hand up to use the bathroom, my teacher let me go so I walked out of my boring ass class and into the empty halls. I looked down at my feet, why couldn't I get him off of my mind. I groaned and looked up only to see Ethan sitting on the floor on his phone, I froze.
Should I walk past him? Should I walk away? I think i'm gonna walk away, so I turn around and begin walking but I hear foot steps so I stop and turn around.
"What do you want?" I say with a little attitude.
"I want to talk to you and explain" I sigh.
"I have to get back to class" I say sadly and dry. He grips my arms and looks at me sadly.
"Can I come over later? We can talk" he says with hope, I bite my lip. I know I should say no but its like I don't want to. I wanted him to come over and I wanted to talk to him.
"Fine" I say and he lets go. I purse my lips and turn around and walk back into my class.
Things were so awkward with us now, I hate it.
When I sat down the bell rang, I guess I was out there for a while. I packed up my things and went to my locker. I got my stuff for my period after lunch and started walking to the cafeteria.
"Guys guess what happened" I say as soon as I sit down.
"What?" they ask at the same time and I chuckle.
"So I saw Ethan in the hall and I tried walking away but he stopped me and told me how he wants to talk and now he's coming over later and wow I just realized how stupid I am" I say and put my head in my hands.
"Its fine maybe it will be good for you guys to talk, figure things out. You can tell him how you feel about what he did to you" Molly says and I nod. She does have a point maybe talking to him will make me feel better about everything.
"He's a dick" gray says and we laugh. I glance over to Ethan who is already looking at me so I look away.
God the things he makes me feel...
"Is it bad that i'm nervous?" I play with my fingers and Molly shakes her head.
"No, its totally normal to be scared to talk to him. You guys haven't talked in forever" I nod and she smiles
"Listen I'm not saying this because I currently hate him but I think you should be careful. He hurts a lot of people and he has already hurt you before, I just don't wanna see it happen again" I give a light smile and nod, I know he's right. I have to be careful, Ethan has hurt me so many times and each time he hurts me it gets worse. The bell rang snapping me out of my thoughts, I grabbed my stuff and left. I didn't say goodbye to them or nothing I just left.
I went into my next class, this was my class with sadly Ethan and Lilia, the class I dreaded every single day. But I did enjoy this class because it was one of my classes that I didn't want to kill myself in. Currently we were doing creative writing.
"Okay today we will be presenting some of our writings about your "first times" my teacher says and the class groaned. Ethan yelled something but I don't know what he said because I was too busy staring out the window.
"Ethan how about you present first then" The teacher says and I continue to look out the window as my head rests on my palm. I heard footsteps as the class got quiet.
"Uh" he sighs and papers ruffle. "Everything stood still when she looked at me, even the water, the waves. I knew she wanted to kiss me, I wanted the same" My heart stopped and I slowly turned towards him. He looked up and glanced at me before he continued reading. "Ive always wondered what her lips would feel like against mine. But when we did kiss I never imagined the feeling. The feeling of pure happiness just by feeling her soft innocent lips against mine. I never imagined the way her hands felt up against my face. I never imagine how much our first kiss would make me feel, but now I know. I know that the way I feel about her was exactly like our kiss, passionate and happiness. Pure happiness is the way I feel about her and I always wonder if she feels the same" The class claps but everything goes silent to me as he stares at me. My eyes are watery and my hands are shaking. We just stare at each other until he looks away and walks back into his seat. I sigh and rest my head onto my palm, suddenly the teacher calls on me to read mine.
well shit
I grabbed my paper shaking and walked to the front of the room. I looked up at everyone nervously until my eyes met with Ethan who gave me a slight smile. I sighed and looked down at my paper.
"Happiness, not everyone feels it and not everyone can quite grasp the feeling. Not everyone realizes the amount of happiness they can hold for one person. Some might try to deny it because of what the person has done to them or try to ignore it because they think the person doesn't feel the same way. But regardless its still always there, and you can feel it when he looks at you or smiles at you or holds you, or even kisses you in the water. Im happy, Im happy because of many different things. But I'm truly the happiest when i'm with him" I finally look up and everyone claps. I avoid eye contact with Ethan because I know ill cry and I don't want to do that in front of everyone.
"That was beautiful Rebecca and Ethan, we have some great writers in here" I sit down in relief and put my papers away. I cant believe I just read that in front of him. I wasn't planning on him hearing it or anyone for that matter.
I basically confessed my feelings for Ethan, but it think he just did the same.
Im so sorry It took me this long to update, i've been really stressed out because my finals are coming up and ugh i'm gonna fail all of them. But I hope you guys enjoyed, ill try and post the next chapter quicker than I did for this one.
If you guys want a shoutout in an upcoming chapter you have to be following me, voting, commenting. Im going to shout you out if I see you in my notifications.
Thanks for the support <3
