This chapters shoutout goes to, @lovingmydolans.
Thanks for the support love ;)
This day has been pretty bad, i'm glad i'm finally going home. Im currently in my car listening to Shawn Mendes because he's a dad. But i'm nervous about seeing Ethan later and talking about everything, even more nervous now because of what happened in English. When I get home I change into a tank top and some grey baggy sweatpants. I throw my hair into a bun and go downstairs, I got cereal and began watching the episode of Riverdale that I missed last week.
Of course I was interrupted though, once I got up my heart started to pound. I have no clue why i'm so nervous, its just Ethan. The boy who admitted his feelings for you and I admitted my feelings for him. I slowly walk to the door taking several deep breaths. When I open it though it's not Ethan, its Grayson.
"Gray? what are you doing here?" I ask and he purses his lips.
"I just needed someone to talk to and you listen and give me the best advice so I wanted to talk to you" He says and I smile.
"Of course, come in" I say and move out the way.
"No no it won't be long, I know Ethans coming so I don't want to stay" He shakes his head and I nod and close the door making sure it's not locked so we can sit on the steps.
"So ive been thinking about Sasha, the girl Ethan you know" He says and I nod, just thinking about it hurt me "She texts me a lot and its like I want to answer but I can't, I'm too scared she's going to hurt me again" I sigh
"I understand why you would be scared, and thats totally normal. Obviously its gonna be hard for you to trust her. But you also have to understand she didn't know that wasn't you. So if you really believe that she made a mistake I would say give it a try, if you don't trust her still around Ethan or just in general theres a lot more girls who would go out with you" He gasps and smirks.
"Do you think i'm hot?" He teases and I chuckle and roll my eyes.
"Don't flatter yourself, unfortunately I like your twin" He smirks and shakes his head. It then gets quiet and he looks down at my lips. He bites his and leans in slightly, he really wants to kiss me right now...
I just sit there awkwardly as he grabs my face but right before our lips touch I pull away.
"I-" a door slams shut and I see Ethan in his car as he speeds away. Well shit. Then it suddenly hits me.
"You knew.. You didn't want to kiss me, you wanted to make him mad. You didn't even want my advice I bet, you came here to use me" I shake my head and stand up. Grayson suddenly looks sincere and stands up and grabs my arm.
"I wanted him to feel how I felt" I scoff.
"You didn't have to do it this way Grayson, I was going to talk to him. We were going to make up" I say and he chuckles coldly.
"You were really going to forgive him for everything? For Sasha? For what he did with Lilia?!" I roll my eyes.
"It was an accident gray, not everything is about you" I say and he looks hurt.
"Okay so the Lilia thing was an accident right? When are you going to realize Ethan isn't a good person" He says and walks away. I just go inside and slam the door.
I mean he is right the Lilia thing wasn't an accident but Ethan explained to me that he didn't do anything, that she was forcing it.
But suddenly I was re thinking everything... fuck you Grayson.
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The next day at school Ethan didn't come to school, or maybe he is just avoiding me and skipping the classes we have together. Either way I haven't seen him, but I'm avoiding Grayson just because he purposely tried to kiss me in front of Ethan. When lunch came around it was only Molly and I.
"This feel so weird not having anyone sit with us" Molly says and I sigh.
"I know" I look over to see Ethan is sitting at his old table, Grayson was sitting all the way at the other end of the table too.
"How did everything go so wrong so quickly?" she asks and I chuckle dryly.
"Honestly I don't know, one thing I know gray is asking me for advice and then he just tries to kiss me" I shrug and Molly laughs.
"It's funny how thats the way he tried to make Ethan mad"
"I know and he knew we were supposed to talk and figure things out and he just made it worse" I say playing with my food.
"But I mean you kinda can't blame him, he really liked that Sasha chick" she says.
"I understand that but why did he have to ruin things with Ethan and I purposely" She slaps her forehead.
"This shit is giving me a headache, lets talk about other things" I chuckle and nod, and thats what happened. We talked about other things but I couldn't help but to look over at Ethan every couple of minutes. But I know he wasn't looking at me or even wanted too, he probably hates me. He probably thinks I wanted to kiss Grayson and I did. I just hate everything right now and I wish things weren't so messed up and complicated.
I wish I could just be with Ethan
Maybe god is telling me something, that things aren't going to work and it will never happen between us. But i'm really hoping things get better because honestly I don't think I can handle the pain much longer.
I suck I know, I haven't updated in so long. But now that finals are over and I have more time to do things I will be uploading more often I promise.
Remember to vote, comment and follow me for a possible shoutout in a upcoming chapter.
Love you all and thanks for the patience <3
