This chapters shoutout goes to, @Phycoticdolanx.
Thanks for the support love ;)
As much as I wanted to, I cant get Ethan off my mind. Although it might be a huge mistake I got into my car and drove to their house. I have no clue how this will go but i'm so sick of overthinking and crying and I just want to talk it out, Im sick of being scared of hearing the truth. I just want everything to be okay and not complicated, I wish things were as easy as 8th grade.
I sigh as I step up to the door, when I ring the bell I try my best to not look like the nervous wreck I am. I stand there awkwardly waiting for someone to get the door, Grayson stands there as the door swings open. Great so now I have to talk to him.
"He's upstairs" he says and walks away, well that made it easy. I closed the door and walked to the steps, as I walked up each step the more I wanted to turn back around and go home. But this had to be done, we need to talk we cant just stay mad at each other without communicating. I took a deep breath before knocking on his room door.
"Come in" he mumbles. I slowly open the door, when he makes eye contact with me my heart skips a beat. How I've missed his eyes and beautiful smile.
"Uh hey" Great Rebecca.
"Hi" He says dryly.
"We never got to talk so I thought id just come by" I shrug as he sits on the edge of his bed shirtless. He was making this very hard.
"I don't want to talk to you anymore" Wow that hurt, I guess I deserve that though. Wait actually no I don't, fuck this.
"I dont deserve this Ethan, I don't deserve you out of all people to be mad at me and treat me like shit. I mean not that you don't already, and if you truly think about it you have no right to be mad at me! I didn't do anything you are the one who fucked this all up! You are the one who was in bed with Lilia and fucked Grayson's girl. Its because of you that he wanted to kiss me, but you see Ethan I didn't fucking kiss him because i'm not like you. I don't hurt people that I care about, I would never. So stop treating me like shit when i've done nothing wrong!" Yes I was yelling because I kept this in for so long and i'm finally realizing that I shouldn't feel like shit when he's the one who fucked up. I also didn't realize that Ethan got up and was standing in front of me now.
"I know that and i'm sorry, i'm sorry for everything I've done to you and everything I put you through and i'm sorry that I even thought that you would kiss Grayson. Im sorry for hurting you the amount of times I did, i'm sorry. Im so fucking sorry-" He says hurt and looking down at me. My eyes teared up as he looked at me like he genuinely meant it and it meant a lot to me. "But I cant do this and its not because of you and you know that. Its because I hurt people, I hurt you all the time. I can't keep hurting you Becca, I don't want to. Its best if we just forget everything between us" My heart stops, what the fuck did this conversation just turn into. Right when I thought things would be okay too.
"But you're hurting me now too" I say stepping back away from him. He looks hurt but brushes it off before sitting back onto his bed.
"I know and it hurts me too, but at least we know this will be the last time I'm hurting you" I shake my head as tears flow now.
"No you're wrong because having to see you everyday happy without me is going to hurt, seeing you with other girls is going to hurt. Im still going to be hurt Ethan" He sighs and looks at me.
"Becca its going to hurt me too, but we can still be friends we can still hang-" I interrupt him.
"No Ethan we cant, i'm sorry if this is what you want then we cant be friends. Because I don't know if you couldn't tell already but I don't want to be just friends. If we're friends then Its just going to hurt" He presses his lips together and nods.
"Okay then, I guess thats how its going to be" He says it without any emotion, I couldn't tell if this hurt him as much as it was hurting me.
"Okay" I say and wipe my tears. I decided that I should leave before I broke down in front of him.
"Becca wait" He says and I turn around. He is walking towards me.
"What Ethan" I say breathlessly, he looks down at my lips and I look at his. He quickly looks up at me.
"Promise me you won't move on to quickly" He says and I chuckle, there goes the tears.
"I promise I won't, I don't think I can" He smiles and wipes my tears. I look down then turn around and leave. It was raining when I walked out so I ran into my car, I was soaked when I got in but I didn't care. I broke down, I sobbed my eyes out. I can't believe thats it he's not even trying and I have to be okay with it.
I just want him
Awww this chapter lowkey makes me sad, but don't worry they will be ok. Thanks so much for all the incredible comments and everything you do for my books. Love you guys so much!
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