Heartbreak Hotel • jb( EDITING)

June, 27 1999

The days of the week pass by quickly as each second was spent laughing at Patrick's stupid jokes and getting drunk off our asses. A headache that forced itself upon me woke me, making me realize I should be heading down to the hotel today.

Wrapped in the warmth of Patrick's hairy legs and nuzzled into his beating chest, I stretch. I stretch my legs and arms as I groan at the headache coming back. I get up slowly as I make my way to the bathroom.

The cold tiles beneath me making shivers rise all over, I put my feet into the soft material of my slippers. I turn on the water for the shower as it starts to turn the bathroom mirror steamy.

I go to grab a towel from the room while the water heats, but I stop in my tracks as I see the bed empty.

Patrick's up.

We haven't labeled ourselves yet but I guess you could call what we were doing is what a male and female do when they date.

I go back to the bathroom with a soft red towel in my hand. I strip down as I place myself underneath the steaming water.

Patrick was back and better than ever when I told him I wanted this. Maybe not as bad as him but it's what I had to do.

I don't love Patrick, but people gain feelings and I'm willing to catch feelings for him. Rather safe than sorry. I know soon Justin would just be another soul I have no interest in.

This would be a sacrifice for my own heart.

I head out the shower and dress in warm weather clothes as I make my way out towards the kitchen.

Patrick sat down with a coffee in his hand and with one across him.

"Is this for me?" I ask curiously as a smile plays on my lips.

"Yes princess." He says as a dimple appears on his cheek from the big grin on his lips.

"Thank you. I'm heading to the hotel care to join?" I ask.

"Sure, but I got to leave soon and help mama unpack from the Mexico trip." He says as he places his jug down, fidgeting with his fingers.

It was a habit of his. One he does when he's thinking really hard.

His mother still wasn't unpacked. She has a hard time moving around and Patrick's always there to help when her maids aren't there.

" What are you thinking about?" I ask worriedly.

"Nothing. Let me grab my stuff." He says not meeting my eyes.

I shrug it off. My stomach churns at the thought of seeing Justin. The beating of my heart accelerates to the thought of his touch. I needed to get him out my system. Guilt washed over me, I was technically using Patrick. I tried to make myself not believe that, but it was true.

I needed to keep my head screwed in right, the heat of the jealousy in me from the other night of his "company" prostitutes made me kiss Patrick. I didn't want to spark a feeling for Justin so I blocked them by using Patrick as bait.

I knew Patrick would never hurt me, it was safe to gain feelings towards him. Justin was a man-whore no doubt about it. But none of that helped to stop me from feeling so attracted towards him.