To my readers,
It's been a very long time since I've been on Wattpad. I want to thank everyone who has stayed patient and dedicated these past few years. Your undying support is what gave me the motivation to even come back. My hiatus was unplanned and before I can fully come back on here, I feel like the context of my absence is important to explain.
When I was last active, I had just finished high school. I was getting ready to go to college and it was then, at 17, that I moved out of the house. I didn't think college would affect my writing or the frequency of my uploads, but every time I would sit down in my dorm room and attempt to write a new chapter, or every time I read a message from my readers, it felt off. Sure, I was focused on navigating this utterly new world I was thrown into, but it was more than that. I felt blocked. I literally could not get out one paragraph before thinking it was absolute crap and deleting it.
It felt like this Wattpad world, the books I had written, and the things I'd accomplished in this little corner of the Internet weren't mine. I felt mismatched. That's the best way I can describe it. It felt like putting together two puzzle pieces that just didn't fit, no matter how hard you tried to connect them.
When I realized what was happening, that I was growing distant from this, it hurt a lot. I don't even know if hurt is the right word. It felt like outgrowing a friendship with someone you love. The love is there, it'll always be there, but you have to accept that the friendship just isn't what it used to be. There was a dull ache whenever I thought about it or read a message from someone asking when I was going to upload. My Wattpad life isn't something I talk about with anyone in real life so I went through the changes alone.
For about a year and a half it felt nice to get writing out of my head. I stopped feeling inadequate and blocked but in the last six months something has changed. I've been realizing how much I miss writing, and the stories and the worlds I had created. Especially in this era of American politics I appreciate what fifteen-year-old me was doing, providing the diverse representation the young adult fiction world greatly needed.
I finally figured out what I like to write. Usually when someone asks you that, you reply with a genre—"I like writing fiction." But honestly, I've realized I like writing about everyday people. People all around us, at our workplace and in our families. These past three years I've met so many people who've changed my life. They all deserve to have their stories documented and that's what I want to do. Confessions and my other works were that, in a sense, but since they were my life my own coping mechanism became the source of my mental unrest.
With this rediscovered purpose and that inclination to write again I've decided to come back on Wattpad. I want to finish Confessions of a Muslim Girl and rework my other stories. I ask you to be patient, as my writing style has changed immensely since I last wrote, as has my view of people and the world. So much has changed on this site too, I barely recognize it anymore (it's a bittersweet feeling).
Lastly, I don't know how many of you care to finish the book or bear with me as I navigate through this, but thank you anyway. Whatever I've done on Wattpad has and always will be one of the most special things I've ever done. I've loved every second of it and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Yours always,
Ash
