The Girl I Left Behind

My Last Words to Her

My Dearest Jane,
 
        First of all, please don't throw this away and ignore it. Just please read this. Okay, straight to the point, I'm sorry I had to leave you. I just.. I guess I was just so blinded by fear that I forgot that I had a life as well. You know my father, everything for him is business, business, business. Even though I so badly wanted to to be with you, I can't. I'm not telling you that my family is more important than you but I also remembered that before you and everything else, they were the only ones I had. But I guess I never really understood what love is until I met you.

         You showed me how to be free, to let my spirit go, to be myself. You taught me to make my own decisions because you know that I should be handling my life rather than letting others dictate for me. And that was the greatest thing anyone taught me.

         Second, I want to say that I hope things will be better for you even if I'm not around. I hope you'll be happy and find another guy who will treat you with much love... that you deserved from me. I want you to make your dreams come true, and whatever happens, hold on and never give up. Just remember that you'll always have me, cheering for you, although not physically, but in your heart. But most of all, I want you to be happy. I remember the first time I talked to you, I wondered why a beautiful girl like you was crying her heart out with no one to comfort her. I never want to see you like that again. Promise me this, okay?

           Third, I want to say I love you. More than anything I love in the whole world, more than anything I value, more than my own life. I would go to hell and back for you, and you know that. For even a few months, you showed me the true meaning of love. Yeah, we had our ups and downs, but you never gave up on me. Unfortunately, I did, and I hope to see your forgiveness upon me one day.

           Lastly, I want to thank you. Thank you for everything you've done, for bringing joy to my broken world, for giving me your love, for giving purpose to my life. I can't ask you to forgive me but I hope one day that you do. Time heals all wounds, right? 

As you are reading this, I am probably in our plane now, thinking of one thing.- Your promise to me.

          I can't say that would happen because I have broken many of my promises to you as well. You told me the next time I see you, you will accept and welcome me in open arms, although I highly doubt that. But if you will, I will know that you are mine forever and I will never let you go again. But this promise of yours has a corresponding promise from me as well, -that I would ask you for your hand and marry you. I can only dream of that now, and think of you. I love you Jane Lewis..very much.

           I won't blame you if you can't keep it, but one can just hope for the best. But I know you will. Because you can keep a promise. I've said this to you before but I'll say it again, I love you Jane Lewis, and you will forever be in my heart. You are the only girl I've loved, or rather the only person I've loved my whole life. You know I won't stop loving you afer I'm away. You have always been and forever will be, my baby, my girl, my love, my life...my Jane. I would trade my life for just one day to be with you again, Ms. Lewis. And I hope when that day comes, your name will be changed into Mrs. Andrew Davidson. I hope you can wait for me because your ring is surely waiting for you.

                                                                   With all my love,
                                                                                           Andrew