Prisoner of the Molepeople

Chapter 46 - Brunhilda

I heard a gasp escape Gunhilda’s mouth.

Brunhilda, the other secret weapon, strutted toward the ledge, rolling up her sleeves. Hanging at her side was my sword. With her eyes fixed on Gunhilda, she paced like a dog trapped behind a fence. “Thief,” she said. Then, as if to rest her case, she reached into her purse and pulled out the Golden Bowl of Fliegenwasser for everyone to see.

I couldn’t help myself. “It’s a bowl!”

“My bowl,” Brunhilda snapped.

“I’m glad to see you got your job back. But I’m afraid Gunhilda’s loyalty is to humanity, as yours should be.”

“My loyalty,” Brunhilda snapped, “is to justice.” She looked around to see how her one-liner was received, and the molemen nodded with approval. “We don’t tolerate thieves in Molemania.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “The majority of Molemania’s gross domestic product is based on thievery.”

Duthbert, seeing Brunhilda’s loss, defended her with, “She means domestic thievery.”

“Yeah,” Brunhilda agreed. Then, with clenched fists, she crouched and prepared to make the leap to pillar number one.

But before she leaped, Captain Moneyshuckles, with his eyes on the treasure in Brunhilda’s hands, asked, “Do you want me to hold that for you?”

“No,” said Brunhilda.

“Come on, I’m a pirate.” In response to everyone's stares, he added, “Pirates like treasure.”

As if to irk the captain, Brunhilda handed the bowl to Duthbert. “You hold it.”

“Thanks,” said Duthbert, as mesmerized as any by the evil thing.

Meanwhile, on pillar number one, Gunhilda picked up Bobbert and, not waiting for our approval, hurled him to pillar number two.

Though she hadn't acted a moment too soon, for Brunhilda, drawing the sword and raising it like the warmonger she was, charged and leaped. Standing together in the small space, for a moment the sisters just stared at each other. Then Brunhilda, in a rare moment of honor, put the sword away and faced her sister in hand-to-hand combat.

Back on the ledge, Duthbert and his crew began to chant. “Brun-hil-da, Brun-hil-da …” Even Captain Moneyshuckles joined in.

“Gun-hil-da!” I protested, slapping Lenny and Bobbert until they joined me.

Finally the sisters clashed. There was punching, kicking, grunting, screaming, biting, scratching, and pulling of hair.

Come on, Gunhilda.

Lenny tugged my shoulder. “We don't have time for this.”

But I resisted. “We have to help Gunhilda.”

Meanwhile Duthbert shouted to Brunhilda, “You can deal with your sister later. Go for the girl.”

Brunhilda’s demonic eyes turned to me, and this time I gasped. Promptly abandoning my irrational heroics, I assisted Lenny with the most pressing matter: getting Bobbert to pillar number three.

“Oh no you don’t,” said Bobbert. “I’d rather kill myself, thank you.” He pushed us out of the way as much as possible, then stepped back, charged, and leaped. The poor guy made it to the next pillar but landed flat on his belly, clawing against stone to keep from falling to a fiery death.

Soon Lenny and I joined Bobbert on pillar number three and pulled him up. And so the arduous cycle continued, with seven more pillars between us and the elevator.

Back on the ledge, Duthbert shouted, “You can’t fool me, Ann. I know you want to be my queen.”

I shouldn’t have humored him, but any opportunity to defy Duthbert was too good to pass up. Catching my breath, I shouted, “Does it look like I want to be your queen?”

“I know how women work. You’re just playing hard to get.”

“In case I’ve somehow given you the wrong impression, let me set the record straight. I will never marry you. Not in a million years.”

“You already did.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Yes it does.”

Back at the dueling sisters, poor Gunhilda was being crushed in a half nelson.

“How could you even think of running away?” cried a triumphant Brunhilda. “You’re nothing without me.”

“Really?” choked Gunhilda. “I thought I was pretty cool without you. You should have seen me with the policemen.”

Brunhilda tightened her grip. “And who taught you how to fight? Who got you through school? Who felt so sorry for you that she shared her own prom date?”

“Lies.” Gunhilda was turning red. “I wasn’t going to tell you, but you leave me no choice. Klaus wanted to ask me, not you.”

“What?”

“He told me everything. He only asked you because he was afraid for his life.”

Brunhilda tightened her grip. “What a story! And why would he be afraid for his life?”

“Because of you.”

As Brunhilda pondered the implications, Gunhilda broke free. At this, Brunhilda grew red in the face, throwing unbridled punches. “You're coming back with me,” she barked.

Dodging her sister's punches, Gunhilda stood taller than I’d ever seen her. “Unlike Klaus, I don’t take orders from bullies.” As her sister grew reckless with rage, Gunhilda seized her in a full nelson.

Meanwhile, Bobbert, Lenny, and I had made it to pillar number four. We were doing so well, Duthbert couldn't mask the nervousness in his railing voice:

“Ann, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into.”

“What do you care?”

“As your husband, I'm concerned for your safety. There are dark powers in the under-underworld beyond anything you've seen before. Here in the abysmal home of the undergods, where the earth’s foundations rest on bottomless inferno, you’ll find horrors to put your nightmares to shame.”

I’d heard that quote before. Bobbert had read it on a plaque in the palace. I remembered looking up at a colossal sculpture of a demon, frightened of the unknown horrors that awaited me. That was before I’d really seen Molemania, before I’d learned that everything was fake.

“I’m not afraid of your sand demons,” I shouted.

“Ann, do you have any idea where you are?”

“A few leaps from freedom.” I landed on pillar number five. Half way.

“I'll give you one more chance. Turn around now, and we won't summon secret weapon number one.”

Glancing back at our pursuers, who were standing peacefully at the other side of the chasm, I had an unsettling impression that they knew something we didn’t. Especially unnerving was the unearthly presence of the mysterious Captain Moneyshuckles. Why was he even there? Still, as far as I was concerned, turning around was beyond the realm of possibility. “Never.”

“Suit yourself. Priest, summon the rygor.”