Prisoner of the Molepeople

Chapter 4 - Molemania

As we walked through the earth, I tried to keep my eyes off the majestic stalagmites. I tried to keep my mouth from falling open at the colors cast by the crystal shards protruding from the walls. I tried to ignore the babbling stream and the dancing patterns on the ceiling. I wanted to be angry, not mesmerized. I was a modern girl with attitude, not a damsel in distress.

But in a world of shadows, I couldn’t stop my imagination. In fact, my mind was far ahead of our expedition, well on its way to the promised fantasy world. I imagined myself passing through ancient gates, over a path of glowing stones. There would be flowers with colors I'd never seen, cute little cottages, an enchanted forest, and a mist that hung over it all. There would be handsome molemen and beautiful molewomen, holding hands and dancing to polka music. The palace, decorated with hundreds of flags, stretching high into the cavernous sky, would be a jaw-dropping spectacle of fairy tale perfection. There would be hundreds of adoring peasants, praising me for my gorgeous voice. From their midst would come Grandma, their wise, old queen. With two gentle touches of her diamond-studded scepter, she would dub me a princess.

“Do you mind if I turn down the light?” Bobbert asked.

“Since when do you care what I want?”

Ignoring me, he dimmed the rocky world around us. As he removed his sunglasses, I saw his eyes for the first time: beady, wet, and black.

He's kidnapping me. He's not cute.

“So the queen was spying on me, huh?”

“She likes to observe your world. For security. And only those who pass over the geo-coordinates of Molemania.”

“How was she spying on me?”

“I'm afraid I can't answer that question as it could –”

“Endanger you national security, I know. You tap into our cell phones, don't you?”

“What makes you think that?”

“The only way you could have aligned my voice with my location is through the GPS chip in a cell phone.”

“Well aren't you a smarty pants?”

“What else do you tap into? Our TV? Internet? Power lines?”

“Who told you that?” he asked defensively.

“Why, is it true?”

“I didn't say that.”

“It just seems that, living underground, it would b extra easy to steal cable.”

“Look, what would you do all day if you lived in a cave? TV gives us hope.”

“I see.”

“Would you prefer for us to live in ignorance of current events … scientific advances … the latest fashions? Without the Discovery Channel, how would our children learn about elephants and Mars?”

“I get it.”

“You're judging me, aren't you?”

“Maybe.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I had nothing to do with the TV Tapping Act. It was entirely Prince Duthbert’s fault. Back when Grandma was in power, people used to actually read books.”

This Duthbert was beginning to sound like a Prince John. Perhaps I would be his Robin Hood. No, a Pharaoh and Moses relationship was more appropriate.

I couldn't believe it, I was thinking like Lenny. This whole fantasy world thing was filling me with delusions of grandeur. Perhaps it was because down here, no one knew the old Ann … the pathetic Ann. So why not become a danger-loving superstar?