The Good Boy Gone Bad.

-Another loss-

July 2008.

"Dear Amara,

Goodbye. I have loved you means I always will. No matter the harsh words of the failings of the moments. I have tried my best to ice over your memory, to hate, anything to stop the pain of you. Truth is, you are in my soul, all those times you laughed, smiled - We are forever, yet finite within each span.

You are my only women, my best friend, my hero - and the thought of you being dead still hasn't sinked in, it feels like concrete in my chest. I know they say people turn on the ones they feel safest with but I felt safest with you.

But now you have departed this earth;

You were my protector. You made me strong. Though I didn't know the way, I told you to take my hand and we can figure it out together.

Amara, I hope Elliot grows to be a man who will one day know our love. How much these years of knowning eachother has made me believe in love. I hope he won't hate you or won't hate me, for then, I acted as a real father to him.

I hope he falls in love with how I've fallen in love with you. I hope he has someone to whom he wakes up too every morning and smiles gratefully for her being. I hope he tells her he loves her like nothing matters in the world.

And as I write this letter to you, one that you will never read, I will then read this to you at your grave tomorrow. I still can't believe you have left me. You have left us.

Rest peacefully my Grace. Watch over Elliot and I as we are the only men who will not mourn you but live for you.

I love you I love you I love you Amara and maybe we will be together in the after life.

Me and you; how were supposed to be. Together for infinity,

Steve Gilson."

****

A whole week past by and Luca was still giving me the cold shoulder. Either he knew I was aware of Ava's condition and was blowing me off or he just couldn't come to terms with it and was shutting me out.

I don't think I could hack another beating from him.

Either way, I needed him and he was nowhere to be found. I tried his place, 'Munchiez', the football pitch, and hell even the school library which I had once vowed never to be seen in. 

I was surprised to have been allowed on the football pitch after the commotion I had caused last week but it seemed like my ex-team members had gotten over it, I wasn't the only one who hated Antonio and his bullshit. 

"You should've seen the aftermath." Laughed one of the guys.

I'm pretty sure if Coach wasn't there, I would have been congratulated even more; all I got were sneers from his salty ass.

It was nice knowing Antonio no longer would be playing for the rest of the season due to his 'injury'. Knowing that, helped ease the blow that I myself was no longer playing.