Every Day in May (grand prize winner) ✔

May 28th

I cried when I found your question waiting for me, all of my letters from the last three days returned along with it. My hand was raised to your door, my mind set on begging you to let me in, until fear stopped me from knocking. I hadn't actually read your question yet. Maybe it wasn't even a question but a command telling me to leave you alone. I lowered my hand and pressed my ear against the door, hoping to hear you breathing on the other side. After listening to my own heartbeat for a moment, I brought the letters back to my usual hiding place and then read your question—just like I have every other night for the past four weeks.

Theo, I don't even know where to begin.

I want your forgiveness, your trust, your friendship.  I want you to understand that, whatever mistakes I may have made, none of them were done with any intent to hurt you.

I want you to be the man in my dream who stands facing the sun and the little boy who dreams of exploring the unknown.  I want you to know who you are, Theo, because if you do, what does it matter how anyone else sees you, or if they see you at all.

 More than any of that, though, I want you to be free of your prison and its warden.  I want you to believe I'm capable of helping you make your escape.

I thought about asking you to come with me tonight.  My brother's men aren't making these visits to the Tower very easy—there's a chance that no matter how hard I try, I won't be able to return.  I know I said I'd find a way and in my heart that's what I intend to do.  My brain is more practical than my heart, however, and it says we have to be prepared for anything.

You can't come with me tonight.  What would happen if the Heir suddenly disappeared?  Can you imagine the sort of upheaval that would cause?  For a person whose identity has remained a secret for nearly eighteen years, your sudden removal would cause quite the commotion.

No, as much as I'm at odds with my brother, he's still right that the Leader has to be removed from power.  I've always been behind that part of the plan.  Maybe you're just realizing it now, but you are too.  If you disappear too soon, everything changes:  Francesca won't leave for her country visit, your father will redouble the fortification in the Tower, and the Dissent's plans will most likely fail.

You have to hang on a few days longer, Theo.  Just a few.  Act normal, keep this letter hidden, as you always do.

Remember that I'll do anything for you.