My Past and Present

Wet

It's already rain I'm so wet already I'm so cold already and feel like I'm in the refrigerator!
I like to go home crying outside I'm alone at night! Just letting the rain makes me wet!
I hate that man don't have mercy he didn't let me to go inside even though he know it's raining !!!!!
I just sit on the grass wet and nodding feel hurt in tears.
I heard something walking on the grass and someone standing in front of me
"What you doing here still?"
He ask
"You didn't let me go inside of your house I'm just stay here I don't even know this place"
"Go inside but don't you think that this is mercy"
"You know
why did you do this to me!!!! I really hate the way you act on me like you forgot all our sweetness and our past! Oh let's say you don't have a feelings anymore that's why you left me! I better not to shout you because we're done!"
I cry to shout my hurt!
He just staring at me he fall down the umbrella
Grab my arm when I near on him he grab my waist we are both wet because of rain he directly grab and kiss me passionately .
That's make blush! That's my first kiss
For 1 year that he left me on FB he already kiss me .
He deepen the kiss until I push him badly
"I-I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry if I did that to you I didn't mean it Rose"
He apologize on me and he trying to close on me.
"Rose here hold my hand go inside with me you are already cold"
I hold his hand I need to change it's wet
He is my ex I met him on FB for past 1 year he left me June 5,2016
I trying to move on.
He open the door for me and I go inside the dog barking on me
" omg!"
I already hold his arm so tight I'm so frightened of his dog really don't like me.
"Are you afraid?"
He whisper on my ear makes me something tickle on my stomach
" ummmm yes I already so cold may I change?"
" yes go with me"
He hold my hand and go in the stairs to up in the room.
When we get into his room full of blue stripes bedsheets color blue paintings and 45 inches tv and all set of speakers his room is look like a hotel or bachelor room
I really love it so clean and neat!
When I try to move my gown so wet
"Ummm I'm wet I don't like to walk because it so wet I don't like to get wet your rag"
" oh it's okay"
"I don't have a girl shirt here"
" it's okay any"
He get his shirt polo
"Thank you so much"
"You don't like to walk right you can undress your gown in front of me girl"
He try to turn me on no no way!
"Huh? That's make me rude huh?"
"Silly Rose you said don't like to walk right because of the rag will wet don't walk "
"Are you serious?"
" yes I am"
I don't have choice I need to change before I get sick.
"Sorry but I can't Fred"
I walk out and go in the restroom I deep in breathe facing the mirror.
'Why did you do this to me?'
There's someone knock
"Rose are you okay?"
I didn't respond I don't like to talk right now I feel nervous.
He response again
"Rose I'm sorry if I say that to you"
"No it's okay just give me a space"
"Ook I'll prepare some dinner for you"
"Thank you"
Until I feel he leave
I just crying I'm mad I'm sad I'm hurt and feel broke
'Is he doing this for granted?'
'Oh common Rose he don't have feelings for you and you don't have feelings for him right?'
Start believing my own lies like everything will be okay .
'He just playing with you rose'
I already completely naked and put on the polo I don't have underwear or bra either
Just only the polo have on my body I'm shy because the polo line only on my knee.
'I think it's bad'
Don't have choice it's praying it's not bad
Someone knock on the door!
"Rose the dinner is here I just get some dinner here in my room"
"Thank you Fred"
I just open the door I nod and I can't face him now because I'm not comfortable of what I wear.
"What happened"
He wear his smirks again!
"Ummm nothing"
I walk but holding the polo pull down so that whatever happened I can cover it
" I cooked for you steak and milk"
"Wow you really know my favorite drinks"
"Yes milk that's why your skin so smooth"
Omg maybe he already see my under no!!
"Thanks"
I just smile him and nod
"Eat your dinner rose"
" but what about you?"
"I'm okay rose just here watch you to eat it"
"Ook are you sure?"
"Yes"
He just staring me but I can't stare him on his hazel eyes it makes me cry and melt.
"Rose that kiss is your first kiss?"
I choke a lol bit and I directly get the water to stop coughing
"Are you okay rose?"
He ask
"Yes I'm okay I'm okay"
When I feel okay I just quit a lil and he ask again
"Is that your first kiss?"
"Y-y-yes"
I nod blushing goodness don't don't don't
"Are you blushing?"
"No no"
I look away and pretend I'm not blush
He get the foods in front of me he crawling on the bed
"What you doing?"
"Rose"
"Yes Fred? What you doing"
"Rose?"
"Yes what?"
"Why your so beautiful dear?"
Omg I am so shock
" Fred sorry but we are not together anymore"
"Dear Rose are you sure?"
"What do you mean?"
" stop Fred!"
"Rose why your so sexy"
He trying me to turn me on
"Fred please if you do something don't do it"
"What are you afraid of?"
He ask on me he stare on my two eyes
"Stop playing on me?"
"I'm not playing with you rose"
"We are not together Fred you remember that!"
"But rose what if on this day we will start to be together rose"
"That's not easy Fred!"
"I love you"
He whisper on my ear
Omg don't surrender your brilliant flower rose to him!
"Fred stop I will not go in hurt again!"
"I love you so much!"
He whisper me again
"Rose please accept me again!"
" don't be rush Fred!"
"Rose I want you in my life I need you in my life"
"Fred"
He kissing me on my neck directly I'm just feel pleasure of my weak spot!
Fred why did you do this to me why!
I hate this but I love it this is my first time to get into this is this a sign to surrender?
Lord give me a sign!
I push him and go out in the room I reach my breath so fast
I can't believe it I can't I'm so feel bad
I don't like the way I response to him
I just sit on the couch and I feel sleepy I just lay down and get a sheet to wrap around me
Until my eyes close